Please Don't Tell Al Gore
By Peter Robbins
Farmers in Estonia received their first"Cow Fart" tax demand on Monday. Following the issues of globalwarming, Estonia cited that a single cow produces 350 L of methane gasand 1500 L of carbon dioxide a day from flatulence and burping.
Can't you see it now! The economy in the United States isapproaching the tank, the liberals are examining every source ofpotential revenue they can find to pay for their failing "feel good"programs. How long do you think this will take? It will reach us fasterthan the killer bees did I'm afraid. Imagine, Al Gore getting in his"Eco Friendly Private Jet" and holding a news conference about cowfarts and global warming!
Lets see, were paying the farmers to produce grain for ethanol,supporting the research into the mating habits of exotic flies, taxesup for the smokers to pay for a mandatory health care program that wasnever funded, schooling and health care for illegal aliens. There is no needto continue. It all has to be paid for, its just a matter of when thefart tax hits.
Carbon Fart Offsets
"No Johnny we can't get a dog, wecan't afford the fart tax."Consider this, the tax is not going to save the ozone or stop globalwarming. You pay the tax, but cows still fart! Kind of like payingextra to offset your carbon footprint. It doesn't make a difference butI guess it feels good. What's next! Do birds fart? How about cats anddogs ? Consider lions, and tigers and bears, oh my! What about you?Explain this to your children, "No Johnny we can't get a dog, wecan't afford the fart tax."
With all the absurdity going on, don't be surprised in the future ifyou have a new IRS form to fill out. The 1040 F.A.R.T. Form, thegovernment is so good with their abbreviated acronyms.
Flatulence Accounting Record Table
The new 1040F.A.R.T. form, Flatulence Accounting Record Table, will I'm sure bebased on a billion dollar study, that will derive a formula from weightand size of all animals and pets, which will result in another liberaltax increase to stop putting holes in the ozone and assist in theglobal warming fallacy. Will the tax help? No, because everyone andevery animal is still going to pass gas!
Hey maybe Cape Codders will get a reduced rate with the wind farm blowing all the methane north!