Bourne Sports Update

Upper Cape Tech Pitcher Is Unhittable, NFL Mock Draft

YAY AMELIA!!

We don't do a lot of softball coverage in this column, but Amelia Weare can't be ignored.

The ace of the Upper Cape Tech softball team, with a name that is a "heart" away from my refusing to fly with her, is without a doubt the premier pitcher in the state at the moment.

She threw a no-hitter against Cape Cod Tech in a 16-0 whipping last week. That's a rare feat, as neither Roger Clemens or Pedro Martinez ever threw a no-no for Boston despite one of them being Boston's ace for most of my childhood. While I don't have her stats handy, I do know that she can cross "no-hitter" off her bucket list before she starts college.

She was just getting warmed up, though.

She is now feared throughout the SE Massachusetts tech school softball realm after following up her no-hitter with a perfect game against South Shore Voke Tech. She gave up neither a hit nor a walk in a 22-0 slaughter rule W. The slaughter rule meant that she only had to retire 15 batters, but she did so perfectly.

The statistician actually missed her no-hitter, and Amelia was not aware of it until well after the game. She can't get too mad at the statistician, however... it was her mom. No one even thought of missing her perfect game, however.

Amelia's actually a Wareham kid, but we let stuff like that slide if they make the right school choice. Unless she wins a gold medal, this is the last time that she appears in a sports article before Johnny Football does... unless she kidnaps or kills him or somethin'..

WTG Amelia!!!!!

 

 

NFL Mock Draft

The NFL Draft kicks off at 7 PM on Thursday night. The first round is done Thursday, while the second and third round go down Friday. They finish up on Saturday. You can watch it on ESPN or on the NFL Network.

The New England Patriots pick 29th, at the end of the first round. They may trade down to gather more picks, as they often do. We have them trading up a few times, but that's just because I didn't feel like stretching this out to 7 rounds.

As near as I can see it, the Pats need help on the interior offensive line, the defensive line as a whole, running back, backup/future QB, strong safety, and a healthy tight end.

Don't read this, think "I have insight from insider experts," and find some way to wager you week's wages on the NFL Draft. Our war room (NFL Drafts take place in a War Room, which is similar to a Conference Room) consists of a high school basketball coach, a washashore French soccer mom, a bookie (our expert), and a woman (me) who dresses up as a penguin for special-needs charity events. To be fair, we have just as much experience running an NFL franchise as Mel Kiper Jr. does.

Round 1

Pick In Round, Pick Overall, Team, Player


1 1 Houston Texans... OLB Jadevon Clowney

Houston imploded last season, mostly due to poor quarterback play. There are several talented QBs in this draft, but the big question is whether any of them merit using the #1 overall pick in the draft on them. 

However, there is a kid from South Carolina who has cornerback speed at 265 pounds, can chase down a cheetah, punch through stone, and has a particular distaste for quarterbacks. You can always get some guy to throw the ball later. You have to take what the gods give you, and the gods are giving Houston a monster named Jadevon Clowney.

Clowney is more of a DE than a OLB, and may have some difficulty in coverage... but that's why those same gods made the nickel defense. You want Jadevon moving forward constantly. He might get confused otherwise. 

Houston would be wise not to overthink this pick. Passing on Clowney has two consequences. One, you deny your team the use of his services. Two, you ensure that someone will employ him against you.

 

2 2 Minnesota Vikings... (from St. Louis, from Washington)... QB Johnny Manziel
If St. Louis flips this pick back for multiples, they'll be up around 8 players taken from the Robert Griffin III trade.

Someone down the list here wants a quarterback badly enough to trade up for one, and there is no one the Rams need at this pick. They don't have to be greedy... a 1 and a 2, maybe a 5. Someone will give it up, as working girls say outside conventions.

The question is Who?

Minnesota blew a high pick on a QB a few years ago, and the kid flamed out. Now, they need to try, try again. A perpetually boring team with an old-school running style, they need to get a riverboat gambler of a QB, a baby Favre.

Why not Johnny Football? 

 

3 3 Jacksonville Jaguars... QB Blake Bortles

Jacksonville simply HAD to be watching this kid all year long, as they are just down the road from each other. They were probably hoping that no one would notice him and they could bring him onto the team with a later pick, but no-can-do.

With Johnny Football up North and Teddy Bridgewater throwing like a girl at his pro day, their hand is forced. They get a kid to hand the top job to, even if they have to overpay a bit.

 

4 4 Cleveland Browns... WR Sammy Watkins

They wanted Johnny Football, but someone else wanted him more. The remaining QBs aren't worth the weight of the pick, so they go in another direction. They have 3 picks out of the next 32, so they can wait on taking one of the lesser QBs. They have the currency to move up, if need be. 

Pairing Watkins with Josh Gordon will make life easier for whoever they do stick behind center.

 

5 5 Oakland Raiders... QB Teddy Bridgewater

Teddy was a potential #1, but his offseason was bad enough that he might drop to Round 2. We won't do that to him. QBs are coming off the board quickly, and the Raiders need a guy who does just what Teddy Bridgewater does.

Bridgewater State College looked good enough during his student days to make him a fine pick for Oakland. I'm pretty sure he's not into purple drank.

If he drops like a stone, the Patriots draft him, and it turns out he's really stupid, they can pay him less by convincing him that they have named a town, a college, and a mental hospital after him.

 

6 6 Atlanta Falcons... OT Greg Robinson

You don't want Matty Ice getting all busted up, and a good way to avoid that is to hide him behind this Mount Washington of a man.

They can hunt up a pass rusher in round two, but you don't get a potentially elite QB on the team and let people just tee off on him. They may have to use another pick or two to shore up that offensive line, but Robinson solves the most important spot on the line for the next 12-15 years if he works out.

 

7 7 Tampa Bay Buccaneers..... WR Mike Evans

They really, really need someone to throw to. They also really need someone to throw, but that's only one "really." This kid is 6'5", and can snatch touchdowns out of a 747 if he needed to.

They could use a QB and have a 2nd round pick to hunt one with, but it may just be better for them to build the rest of the team this year and mortgage all of next year's draft for whoever the hot-shot QB is.

 

8 8 St. Louis (from Minnesota Vikings)... Khalid Mack, OLB

St. Louis gets a great prospect from an itty-bitty school (Buffalo!), and he will go a long way towards making their defense be fearsome. They probably wish that the draft broke in a way that gave them Watkins or Evans, but it seems that it didn't.

They can stand have a pretty scary (an oxymoron, but the term applies) defense if they stand him somewhere behind Robert Quinn and let him smash QBs. Dibs on "MacQuinn."

 

9 9 Buffalo Bills... OT Jake Matthews

He shores up one side of the OL, and you can find a guard on the roster/later in the draft. His old man is in the Hall of Fame, his brothers are at Texas A&M. His cousins are also in the NFL, one of whom is an All-Pro.

The Thanksgivings in that family must be like a turkey Holocaust. Thy must have to cook over a bonfire or something.

 

10 10 Detroit Lions... CB Daqueze Dennard

I prep hard enough for this mock that I know throwing the ball at ol' Double D produces .88 yards every time you try it. That would actually be tolerable if they gave you 12 downs to get 10 yards, you could just isolate him. Unfortunately, they only give you like four downs or so.

Detroit gets a relatively local kid, although Michigan is a big state.

 

11 11 Tennessee Titans... OLB Anthony Barr

Tennessee is restructuring the defense, and Barr fills the edge rusher role in the 3-4. Having both OLB spots locked up is a good way to be. Anthony, who originally was a running back, needs a little work on his technique... but who doesn't?

Tennessee is about to sever ties with the oft-injured Jake "Hurt" Locker, so QB may move to the forefront of their draft needs.

 

12 12 New York Giants... OT Taylor Lewan

Eli Manning was beaten last year like a red-headed stepchild driving a rental car. If they can get some blockers in front of him, things will go better.

"Taylor" is generally a girl's name, but this guy is wayyyyy too big to make fun of safely.

 

13 13 St. Louis Rams... FS HaSean Clinton-Dix

Since his name isn't funny enough, his nickname is "Ha Ha." His grandmother named him "Ha Ha," by the way.

He fills a long-standing center field hole for the Rams, who still have 3 more picks before round 3 is over. St. Louis wouldn't be too badly served drafting a second safety.

 

14 14 Chicago Bears... DT Aaron Donald

Losing Henry Melton leaves a Henry Melton-sized hole in the defensive line. Donald ran a 4.65 40 at 295 pounds, and all good teams build along the trenches.

AD is one of several people in the higher levels of this draft with two first names. It makes up for the Jadevons and Ha-Has.

 

15 15 Pittsburgh Steelers... CB Justin Gilbert

CB is a mammoth need, and Gilbert is a very good one. He'll be the best CB they have once he learns the defense. He can also run back kicks, as he busted a blistering 4.37 40 at the combine. Six feet tall, too.

He may be better than Dennard, but I gave Dennard the hometown discount.

 

16 16 Dallas Cowboys... DT Timmy Jernigan

Remember the games-are-won-in-the-trenches theory when you prognosticate the NFL draft, and use it as a default setting. Jernigan could start right away, and helps Dallas go 4-3.

Dallas is also a very real threat to pounce on one of those safeties, but DL is a huge need for them.

 

17 17 Baltimore Ravens... ILB C.J. Mosely

He's no Ray-Ray, but he is an excellent guy to find sitting there when you go to draft. Baltimore has some OL issues, but that's what the later rounds are for.

"CJ" stands for "Clinton Jr." I can only hope he isn't from Arkansas.

 

18 18 New York Jets... WR Odell Beckham

NYJ will have a revitalized offense with Beckham (no relation to Victoria, to my knowledge), Eric Decker, and Chris Johnson.

They also get Michael Vick, so the green QB on the bench has a veteran to learn from whom to learn how to organize dog fights. Without an older guy ariund, the kids sometimes show up with a month's pay on the line and a critical error in the Dog Selection process. "Yo, man... 'got this particularly angry schnauzer."

They almost certainly have to go CB in the second round.

 

19 19 Miami Dolphins... OG Zack Martin

They have to re-do most of the OL, and this guy can play several positions. He also doesn't threaten to sexually assault the sisters of his teammates, which is an area of concern distinct to South Florida

Miami could take 1-3 other OL guys, and not have it be that unusual.

 

20 20 Arizona Cardinals... OLB Ryan Shazier

A superb athlete who makes a position of weakness and age into one of strength and yoof! Arizona plays in a tough division, and drafting a guy who could injure a QB is always a positive... for you.

The Cards have an older QB, so they are a dark horse to snag one of the remaining QBs.

 

21 21 Green Bay Packers ... TE Eric Ebron

They lack a viable tight end ATM, and Ebron will start right away. He'll have an All Pro throwing to him, and Green Bay will be improved by his presence.

His parents may have gotten carried away with alliteration. He's also the only thing that rhymes with "Lebron."

 

22 22 Philadelphia Eagles... WR Brandin Cooks

Always draft guys who have a name that makes a cool sentence, unless the man in question is "Fred Sucks" or "Mike Beatswives." Do so especially with a wide receiver who has a name that implies speed.

Cooks served up a 4.33 40 at the combine.

 

23 23 Kansas City Chiefs... WR Marqise Lee

KC needs some people to throw the ball to. Lee had a rotten offseason, ran a slow 40, and is probably lucky to be going this high. He was more highly regarded at this time last year.

Since they look to have 4 shootouts with Denver and San Diego on the schedule every year, they need as many weapons as they can get.

 

24 24 Cincinnati Bengals... DE Dee Ford

Cincy gets a beast with which to replace Michael Johnson, and a good defense gets better.

"Dee Ford" sounds like a technical term for not being financially able to purchase something.

 

25 25 San Diego Chargers... CB Kyle Fuller

You can't be in Peyton Manning's division with the cornerbacks Sandy has. They may actually need to draft more than one this year.

I see a run on cornerbacks starting here.

 

26 26 Cleveland Browns (from Indianapolis)... CB Bradley Roby

Once you decide to wait on a QB, you may as well wait until Round 2.

If no one trades up to get ahead of you, you're all set. If they do, you lose out on some guy you weren't dying to get anyhow. There's always some hotshot coming out of college next year, and you want your next QB to inherit the best possible scenario.

 

27 27 New Orleans Saints... CB Jason Verrett

He'd have gone earlier, but he's 5'8" or so... a wee lil' fellow. You can just throw it over his head, like when you play Monkey In The Middle. His game is good enough that he gets drafted here, however.

If a top-ranked WR drops here, the Saints might try to make Drew Bees happy.

 

28 28 Carolina Panthers... OT Morgan Moses

His name sounds like a left tackle, and the gods- who made Moses 6'6", 310 pounds- agree. He was probably fun to call "Mo Mo" when he was 4 years old, but he was probably only cute for a short period. It's better to be rich than cute, anyhow.

Carolina needs WRs in the worst way, but you can't throw to anyone if your QB is being mauled by behemoths.

 

29 29 Cleveland (from New England Patriots)... QB Derek Carr

"Cognitive Dissonance" is a term used to describe stress felt when one holds two opposite and conflicting ideas. Imagine a guy who just 15 minutes or so ago decided to wait until Round 2 to draft a QB. Imagine how nervous he is as he sweats out the picks between now and #36 or so....

Bill Belichick sees that guy coming a mile away. He's happy to use this pick himself, but he's willing to inherit your Wait for your 2nd and 4th round pick.

Cleveland hands Carr a wonderful WR set, a promising running back, a solid O-line that they may add to in later rounds, and a revamped secondary. He can even sit behind Brian "The Destoyer" Hoyer for 1-16 games.

 

30 30 San Francisco 49ers... DE Kony Ealy

They actually have a good pass rusher in Aldon Smith, but he drinks a lot and makes the occassional threat to blow up a passenger jet. SF may decline to extend his contract, so to speak.

Ealy isn't as good as Smith, but he's not going to draw DHS scrutiny, and that matters a lot these days.

 

31 31 Denver Broncos... OG Xavier Su'A Filo

You can't let Peyton Manning get all smashed up like he did in the Super Bowl, no matter how much I enjoyed watching it.

This column has long favored Samoans in the trenches. I bet he eats whole pigs at a sitting.

 

32 32 Seattle Seahawks... DT Ra'Shede Hageman

Seattle obviously doesn't need to add much to win Super Bowls, but they lost some DL pieces. When in doubt, get Stout.

Ra'Shede is a bruiser of a man who can walk into a fine situation in Cascadia. His new hobby becomes "being mistaken for a Sasquatch."

 

 

Round 2


1 33 Houston Texans... QB Jimmy Garoppolo

Jimmy G is a small school kid, but the bottom is falling out of the QB market. At worst, you waste a 2nd rounder... which isn't good, but it beats potentially wasting the #1 overall on Duck Bridgewater.

2 34 Washington Redskins... SS Calvin Pryor

I would have very much liked to see Pryor sitting there when the Pats picked, but the Wash really need a safety. Big ups to my people at Hail Skins!

3 35 New England (from Cleveland Browns)... DT Louis Nix III

There actually isn't a Louis Nix I or a Louis Nix II. Louis Nix III is just the size (350 lbs or so) of three smaller humans. He would look nice next to Vin Wilfork, and would look nice replacing Wilfork in a few years.

4 36 San Francisco (from Oakland Raiders) ... WR Kelvin Benjamin

The QB needs a guy to throw to, and Kay-Bee is 6'5' with hands. SF has a plethora of picks to move up with. They do so, and nab one of the last highly-regarded WRs.

5 37 Atlanta Falcons... TE Jace Amaro

The Tony Gonzalez era is over, so they have to throw Matty Ice a bone.

6 38 Tampa Bay Buccaneers... OT Cyrus Kouandijo

Cannnnnnnnnnnnn you dig itttttttttttttt???

7 39 Jacksonville Jaguars... FS Deone Bucannon

You want a guy on your roster who can be nicknamed "Boo Cannon."

8 40 St. Louis (from Minnesota Vikings).... OG Gabe Jackson

They used their earlier picks to shore up the defense, and now they can put a behemoth in front of Sam Bradford.

9 41 Buffalo Bills... TE Austin Seferian-Jenkins

Buffalo would probably rather have a WR, but the best pass-catcher available plays TE.

10 42 Tennessee Titans... DE Stephon Tuitt

The T are just adding 3/4 defense guys.

11 43 New York Giants... CB Lamarcus Joyner

The Florida State CB can compete for the starting job. If you say his first name backwards to a Frenchman, it means "Sugar Bad."

12 44 St. Louis Rams... Stanley Jean-Baptiste CB

SJB is a 6'2" cornerback with speed, always a nice thing. It's always good to have a guy with John The Baptist in his name on defense in case someone throws a Hail Mary... unless the other team has Danny Amendola.

13 45 Detroit Lions... DE Scott Crichton

They lost Wee Willie Young in free agency, so they plug the gap with a draft pick.

14 46 Pittsburgh Steelers... NT Daquan Jones

The Steelers continue to retool the defense with a 325 pound nose tackle. He may take a year to develop, but he'll hold down the middle for 12 years if he works out.

15 47 Dallas Cowboys... DE Trent Murphy

Stanford kids are now a concern, after it became clear that LSU/Alabama/Nebraska/Florida type players view them as being delicate.

16 48 Baltimore Ravens... Allen Robinson WR

Joe Flacco will get smoked like Toe Bacco if they don't get him someone to heave 'em up to.

17 49 New York Jets... CB Louchiez Purifoy

NY had the best corners in the game a few years ago, and this mid-level project may be starting now. That's the way the secondary crumbles.

18 50 Miami Dolphins... OT Antonio Richardson

Nickname? "Tiny." He stands 6'5", and weighs 310. In England, he weighs almost 23 stone.

19 51 Chicago Bears... CB Pierre Desir

He's from Lindenwood College., in Missouri. Division II prospects don't always fare well in the big leagues, but they sometimes merit a roll of the dice.

20 52 Arizona Cardinals... SS Craig Loston

Arizona gets a big safety to fill a huge hole with some youth. Arizona has now made two key additions to what was an already solid defense.

21 53 Green Bay Packers... CB Marcus Roberson

A competent cornerback who had a poor enough offseason that he's lucky to be going here.

22 54 Philadelphia Eagles... FS Dion Bailey

There is an opening at free safety for Bailey to move into.

23 55 Cincinnati Bengals... C Marcus Martin

The Bengals pluck the best center in the draft to fill a void on the O-Line.

24 56 San Francisco 49ers (from Kansas City) ... CB Bashaud Breeland

That is one heck of a name, no doubt Irish.

25 57 San Diego Chargers... S/CB Keith McGill

He's 6'3" and vesatile. San Diego loads up the secondary with a second pick.

26 58 New Orleans Saints... C Travis Swanson

New Orleans can afford to work this guy into the mix over time. He played college ball just up the river some, so they must have had a good look at him.

27 59 Indianapolis Colts... G David Yankey

Indy needs to ensure that more than Luck is protecting their QB.

28 60 Carolina Panthers... WR Cody Latimer

Cam Newton currently has to throw the ball, run down the field, and catch it himself.

29 61 Oakland (from San Francisco 49ers)... WR Jarvis Landry

Oakland has created some later round picks to fill some holes, a boring method that has a good success rate.

30 62 New England Patriots.... OG Cyril Richardson

The Pats have some issues with re-signed C Ryan Wendell and highly paid G/C Dan Connolly. If they decide to part ways with one or even both of them, Richardson is a 6'4", 330 pound insurance policy.

31 63 Denver Broncos... DE Kareem Martin

Kareem is a physical specimen who will make life miserable for people on Denver and her opponents once/until he gets his technique down.

32 64 New England (from Seattle Seahawks)... Jimmy Ward, SS
New England makes a move up, and finishes off their secondary. Consider this trade to be Pete Carroll's New England redemption. Ward is a guided missile of a man who would add some muscle to the secondary.

 

 

Round 3

1 65 Houston Texans... Joe Bitonio, OT

One of the benefits of picking the QB and the guy who blocks for him in the same draft is a certain Unity of Purpose. "See that QB? Your sole purpose for being here is to see that he doesn't get hit." You want to keep things simple for the kids.

2 66 Washington Redskins... Jack Mewhort, OT

The good news? Barack Obama finally shamed Daniel Snyder into changing the racist team name. The bad news? The team is now known as the "Big Eared Kenyan Muslim Commies."

3 67 Oakland Raiders... Chris Smith DE

Rome wasn't built in a day, and Oakland is in far worse shape than Rome. Oakland may actually be in worse shape than Pompeii.

4 68 Atlanta Falcons... Kyle Van Noy LB

Atlanta is pleased to find KVN (sounds like someone we fought in Vietnam against) hanging around at #68.

5 69 Tampa Bay Buccaneers... Trai Turner OG

I spent enough time teaching in urban schools to venture a guess that he is the third child of a family with a bit of flair.

6 70 Jacksonville Jaguars... Carlos Hyde RB

I'm trying to force a Dr. Jacksonville and Mr. Hyde joke into this slot, and I have absolutely nothing.

7 71 Cleveland Browns... Chris Borland ILB

Cleveland is filling holes all over the team, and could make a run at the division title if about 35 things work out right for them.

8 72 Minnesota Vikings... Phillip Gaines CB

Minnesota finally gets to draft again after blowing up the draft to get Johnny Football. I assume that St. Louis also holds one of their later round picks.

9 73 Buffalo Bills... Ed Stinson DE

If the girl from How I Met Your Mother married Ed Stinson instead of Barney Stinson, there would be no need for a second husband. That ish would be getting wrecked on the regular.

10 74 New York Giants... Ego Ferguson DT

The name is funnier when you consider that, at 320 pounds or so, he is actually a rather large Ego... perhaps, as I hear them say at the asylum, a Super Ego.

11 75 St. Louis Rams... Martavis Bryant WR

I was actually going to be named "Martavis," but then the drugs wore off and my Mom named me after the daughter of Shylock.

12 76 Detroit Lions... Jordan Matthews WR

Jordan is, to my knowledge, not part of the Matthews family we were speaking of earlier.

13 77 San Francisco 49ers (from Tennessee)... Bruce Ellington WR

He may very well have only an abstract understanding of why his coach is probably going to nickname him "Duke."

14 78 Dallas Cowboys... Brock Vereen S

Brock is the brother of New England's Shane Vereen, and is the first cousin (once removed) of Ben Vereen.

15 79 Baltimore Ravens... Bishop Sankey RB

Not a lot of people know this, but the whole Sankey family is named after chess pieces. His younger brother "Rook" is still in college, while his even more younger brother "Horse Looking Guy" is tearing up some high school.

16 80 New York Jets... Seantrel Henderson OT

This guy was a big deal coming out of high school, but he had a so-so college career. He is 6'7", and it's easier to kick him in the butt a lot than it is to get a better motivated player to grow up to be 6'7".

17 81 Miami Dolphins... Tre Mason RB

Tre tore the college football world apart last season... but seeing as the guy who was blocking for him was drafted in the top 10 overall, you get a sense that Jackie Mason could have bashed out 1000 yards running behind him.

18 82 Chicago Bears... Terrence Brooks S

Chicago is going all-defense in this draft so far. I'd have gone for someone to protect Jay Cuter, but I guess Jay can look after himself.

19 83 Seattle (from Cleveland, via Pittsburgh)- DE Jackson Jeffcoat

He most likely isn't English, but he should try to speak like The Equalizer guy with that name. It would probably help him secure restaurant reservations, and that is important when you are 6 foot something and burly.

20 84 Arizona Cardinals... Paul Richardson WR

The rich get Richardson.

21 85 Green Bay Packers... Tre Boston S

If he was better, I would have worked this draft so that New England got him.

22 86 Philadelphia Eagles.... Vic Hampton CB

Sounds like a fake name, someone ought to check him for warrants or something.

23 87 Kansas City Chiefs... Dez Southward S

Dez has All pro talent, but his name is actually a curse that means he can only perform at this level if he is running, as you guessed, Southward. If the stadium is facing the wrong way, he's useless. KC may actually build a rotating stadium to accomodate and exploit this.

24 88 Cincinnati Bengals... Antone Exum S

If you scramble his letters (and the "S" for "safety") up and reform them, you almost get "One Sex Mutant." We need him to be one of those "middle initial: T" guys.

25 89 San Diego Chargers... Dan McCullers NT

DMC was going 390 pounds at some point in his college career. "McCrullers."

26 90 Indianapolis Colts... Russell Bodine C

Now that he is in the NFL, he can finally afford to put in a cee-ment pond.

27 91 New Orleans Saints... Ja'Waun James OT

He's a large enough guy that scouting reports mess up now and then and start using Car terms ("lots of head room," "miles per gallon", etc...) to describe him.

28 92 Carolina Panthers... Donte Moncrief WR

Carolina is trying to flash-deploy a WR corps, after decimating the unit last winter.

29 93 New England Patriots... Brandon Thompson OG

BT was a highly-rated lineman who suffered an ACL injury during the scouting process. The Patriots can afford to let him watch Logan Mankins do the job while he rehabs.

30 94 New England (from Oakland, via San Francisco 49ers)... Troy Niklas TE

The Patriots have a tendency to exhaust their later round picks so as to trade up in mock drafts if I don't feel like doing the later rounds. We don't mock in Dynasty mode, so I can trade next year's picks with impunity.

31 95 Denver Broncos... CJ Fiedorowicz TE

He sounds like someone you'd get a good deal on a couch from. 

32 96 Minnesota Vikings (from Seattle)... Yawin Smallwood LB

His name sounds like the very last thing a single woman wants to hear from a game show host. 

 

More mocking... Hail Skins, Walter Football, EatDrinkSleep Football, Get Football News (Germany)

 

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