Off-the-Shelf

The Lesser Irish Poets, etc.

Now playing at a theatre or coffeehouse near you!

"Wind Farm - The Musical"

It doesn't matter which side you're on in the wind farm debate - because whether you're for it or against it everybody is sure to enjoy this hit musical that will have you tapping your feet and whistling aloud (not unlike the faint whistle of a well-oiled wind turbine!). Singing and dancing abound in this much, much larger than life theatrical production - with such songs as "Somewhere on the Horizon," "Four Hundred Feet High," "I'm Spinning Around in Circles for You," "Once Upon a Windy Shoal," and the show-stopping tune "Not in My Backyard!" Whatever you do, don't miss the finale - when two dozen piping plovers are released onstage ... and are then swiftly chopped to bits by the rotating propeller blades! Pure, clean, fossil fuel free fun for the whole family from start to finish!

"Override - A Taxing Comedy"

The laughs are aplenty in this comedic romp set at a Cape Cod town meeting. Quirky characters fill the stage as the residents of Pluckingtonvilleport debate an override vote to keep their town operating in the black. Longwinded speeches and miscues during vote tabulation keep the laughs coming. Tax revenue is down, but the laughs are overflowing as budget item after budget item is shot down by the voters. As midnight approaches, the lobbying continues in a feverishly frantic fashion that will have you rolling in the aisles. Fire, police, public works, schools, libraries - all their budgets hang in the balance! You better reserve your seat early for this one - otherwise there may not be a quorum!

Lesser-Known Irish Poet Night

Oh sure, we've all heard of W. B. Yeats. But Ireland has produced other, lesser-known bards that never quite achieved such lofty greatness, yet should be remembered just the same (preferably after a half dozen pints of Guinness ... otherwise their inane rhyming sequences and offbeat cadence don't quite make sense to even the learned listener ... in fact, these lesser bards were once known as the "Offbeat Poets"). Like Sean Michael O'Mc'Patrick, whose poem entitled "I Remember the 1916 Rising ... Well, Not Really, I Was on Holiday at the Isle of Man That Week" was completely ignored by scholars and pub owners alike despite the fact that it was 700 pages long and never repeated the same word twice. And Father John Jack Thomas John O'Glach, whose poem "Give Ireland Back to the Spaniards" caused a good ol' fashion donnybrook when read aloud at the beginning of the Irish soccer finals back in 1971. While Baldric "Baddy" O'Shay's "Oh, I Thought Loch Ness Was in Ireland, Not in Scotland," has confused readers for generations. These poems and others will be read during open mike night at the Sinn Fein Coffeehouse on Thursday evening. And on Friday it's James Joyce discussion night - three pint minimum (you'll need it!).

Auditions Announced

Auditions are being held for the new musical "Barefoot in the Neighbor's Garden." Those interested in trying out are asked to bring their own vegetables. But please, no carrots. (FYI - the director has had a phobia of carrots since childhood when he was bitten by a rabbit during the Lenten season ... also, please don't wear anything white because the rabbit that bit him was white and it will only conjure up painful flashbacks ... and it's best to wear a hat to cover your ears, since ears remind him of the rabbit's ears, which will send him into a wild panic ... also, try not to say any words that start with the letter "R" - like "rabbit" or "rabies" or "rehearsal" ... and try not to show your teeth when singing or talking because it reminds him of the rabbit's teeth, which will only cause him to whimper like a child ... and whatever you do, don't make any sudden movement that may in any way be confused as a hop).

For Sale

Human skull. Used during local theatre production of Hamlet. One owner. Still possesses original teeth. Asking $100 but will consider all reasonable offers.

Missing

Lady Macbeth. Last seen with Macduff after last evening's performance of the Scottish Play. She has reddish hair, devilish eyes, an equally devilish smile, and is wearing tight-fitting jeans and a Van Halen T-shirt. If found, please remind her that there's a matinee performance today. And tell her to lay off the mulled cider!

One Man Show Cancellation

The one man show, Speaking My Own Mind to Myself Yet With Others Nearby Eavesdropping, has been cancelled due to complete lack of interest.

Jack Sheedy