My wild & precious life

A letter to my 16 year old daughter who is having a hard time right now.

My sweet girl,

When you were a baby, about 8 or 9 months old, we lived in a big house in Putney, VT. I used to sit you on the counter next to me while I was doing things in the kitchen so you could be at my height and watch what was going on. You liked that. I knew that you would find your balance and stay perched on the counter. I totally honored your inner guidance and you never once fell.

People would walk in and see you there, just a little baby, and FREAK OUT that you were going to fall. I would explain to them that when trusted to find their own balance, babies always do. We as humans are wired for survival, that is our instinct. And not to just ‘survive', but to thrive. Life has challenges, life has hard knocks, life sucks sometimes, but you are the constant in the life you live. It's up to you to choose your attitude, your response, your values, your beliefs, your actions. There is no external standard for right and wrong, it's kind of like trial and error to see if something resonates with your integrity or not. THAT'S your responsibility as a human, to align yourself with your integrity. Sometimes you choose wisely, sometimes impulsively, sometimes naively, but you will always be the one to experience the consequence, whether it is immediate and obvious or more subtle and karmic.

The dis-equilibrium that you have experienced the last few years to me are an anomaly. I believe your anxiety comes from living in an atmosphere where your thoughts and instincts were never trusted or honored. You almost forgot how to hear your own voice. Fortunately, you have a warrior spirit and that voice penetrated the darkness and you have repeatedly made the decision to thrive.

I want you to know that I know in my deepest heart that you can reconnect with your inner north star (the one that guides you, regardless of where you are on earth), your own true voice and the path that is right for you. Wherever that path leads you, whether I would choose that path or not, I am by your side when you need me.

The journey is all yours, I am just a fellow traveler who has been there before you. Sometimes it's appropriate to blaze a new trail, and sometimes it's just plain stupid. It's up to you to figure out which is which. I am big on less pain, more fun, but we all have our own path to follow. I learned that in my twenties, you don't have to wait that long, or it might take you longer.

I just want you to know that I am here, my baby, just in case you need a hand to steady yourself when things seem off-balance; when you enter into a new situation, relationship, direction, or better yet, when you are experiencing the quiet euphoria of aligning your vision to your reality. You are a powerful being, whether you accept that or not. I recommend you don't squander your gift, use it for good.

I love you so much, and here's to our new relationship: sweet girl & mama 2.0.