Fish Out of Water

Rules of engagement for parents for video games, manga

It's really easy for parents get estranged from their kids, especially as the kids get a bit older and crave independence. That's why I think it's vitally important to share some common interests with them. In my case, that common bond is video games, anime and manga.

As I wrote about yesterday, my wife and I spent the weekend at the Anime Boston show at the Hynes Convention Center, but it wasn't about connecting with our kids directly -- that's something we do as a couple. And part of the reason is because we like to scope out what's hot and what's new on the anime and manga scenes, so we can vet the content for our kids. I do the same for video games. I'm lucky enough to actually get paid (at least partly) to review video games, so that helps me justify keeping different console systems in the house and subscribing to various magazines, and even taking a couple of trips a year to trade shows to really get some good exposure.

But those benefits aside, it's trivially easy for the average parent to stay on top of what their kids are interested in just by paying attention, and finding good resources online and offline to help them make sense of it.

Take video games, for example. All the video games you find for sale at Best Buy and other retailers are labeled with an ESRB rating. That rating, created and enforced by the Entertainment Software Rating Board, gives you an easy-to-understand label (E for Everyone, T for Teen, M for Mature, AO for Adults Only) that provides a parent with a clear understanding of what age group the game is intended for. Part of that ESRB rating also includes descriptors that will tell you what kind of objectionable content you're likely to find inside (alcohol use, for example, violence, or sexual innuendo).

If more parents used this ESRB rating system the way it was intended, you'd get fewer incidents of kids coming home with games they're not supposed to -- though it's equally incumbent upon the retailers to make sure that 14-year-olds aren't walking out with M-rated games too. (I'm pleased to say that the last few times I've shopped for M-rated games at EBGames and Best Buy, the cashiers have made it a point to stress the rating to me before the sale is complete.)

Manga -- Japanese comic books translated to English and published in the United States by companies like Viz Media and Tokyopop -- also employ an age rating system that you'll find right on the cover. There isn't an industry-wide rating system like there is for video games sold in the U.S., but the major publishers will include tags that tell you what age group the book is intended for -- A for all, Y for youth, T for teen, OT for older teen, M for mature, for example.

Above all, try to share the experience with your kids, if they'll let you. My kids are happy to play co-op games with me or hand me the game controller from time to time, if for no other reason than it gives them great pleasure to beat me. They'll lend me the manga I get for them; they'll let me thumb through it first to make sure there's no gratiuitous violence or ecchi (lewdness).

And if they don't, well, that's where I, as the parent, clearly draw the line. Even if it creates some sour feelings in them for a while, their safety -- and making sure that I, as the parent, am the gatekeeper to what's coming into our house and affecting our kids -- is the bottom line. They don't have to agree with me, but eventually they'll understand and respect it, even if it takes some age, wisdom, and maybe a kid of their own before they do.