One Day at a Time

Facing A Fifth

Look at this face. Look closely.

This face was yours at one time. It was mine.

If we are doing this deal, this is a face we see regularly.

Look at it hard. Do you remember?

There is positive side to this face. It is also the face of someone whose life is about to change - for whom the causes of the most gut wrenching and darkest emotions that a human being can ever experience are about to become just a memory - a pimple on the ass of a man's liftime - a memory that will be useful for this man's work with still other alcoholics -  and not a regret.

This face will never be seen again. Oh it may frown. It may cry. It may see new dramas and dilemmas - the kind that we all must face as we go through life. But it will NEVER again express the feelings that come from deep in a man's soul - a man who has lived contrary to every moral conviction with which he was originally bred.

What a freakin' miracle that is.

Most people who I start sponsoring are under the impression that they want to start "The work" in order to simply "Not drink". That was my impression too - at the start.  It sometimes takes quite a bit of salesmanship to correct this misconception - to convey the truth about the Twelve Steps - that the only reason to take these steps is to have a spiritual experience so they can be of service to others. It is not about liquor. This is a concept that can be about as well received as a nuclear explosion - but very often as powerful.

It means I have got to be recovered so as not miss this Fifth Step experience for the benefit of another drunk - and I love the job.

Hearing a fifth step, WOW. What an honor! I have been blessed with having heard more fifth steps the past several years than many AAs will ever get to hear in a lifetime. That is a sad fact - but true.

I sponsor men from zero days to ten, twenty years in AA -  dry-time  - and everyone single one of them who finally steps up to the plate and begins to work with others the way the Big Book tell us to, will agree -- that we will hardly EVER feel closer to God than when hearing another mans fifth step.

If you think that putting your life in another human beings hands by giving someone your past is an experience - wait till you start becoming involved in this work and start hearing them on a regular basis. Your life will never be the same.

If you are not already doing it - maybe ask why not? Someone told you you had to "wait a year" before sponsoring? What page in the Big book is death-dealing crap like that on? 

A Fifth Step is a sacred event. I am NOT talking about some guy who, three years ago, ratted himself out for stealing a box of lottery tickets. I am talking about working with others and hearing first steps as part of our lives. Week in -- week out.

When I first discovered the fellowship I don't think that I fully appreciated AA. I did not feel completely a member until I heard my first Fifth Step. Although had you asked me, I wouldn't have known that - until it happened.

DON'T MISS IT!

As good as sobriety had been, my entire life took new turns that changed the way I live, in leaps and bounds - and that happened when I got off my AA folding-chair-pressed-ass and started taking other men through the Twelve Steps - the way we are supposed to - the way they did it seventy two years ago - and that means hearing fifth steps. It is spirituality at one of its finest hours. To look a man in the eyes, whose eyes can barely stand to meet yours - and say,

"You don't ever have to feel this way again, dude",

. . . and KNOW it is true -- is an experiencee that I hope no one sober longer than six months is missing.

Danny S