One Day at a Time
A blog for recovering Cape Cod alcoholics and their families to share their experience, strength & hope.Sandwich Community School for Early Learning Open 7am-6pm Registering for Fall! Extended Day for Your Kids Grs K-6. New! Part-time Surroundcare for children in 1/2 day Kindergarten! (Sandwich)
Dr. Hannigan, a general dentist specializing in implants, wants to give his new patients something to smile about. Mention this ad to receive a $50.00 credit toward your first appointment. (Orleans)
Dr. Bob's House Cleaning
So here is Dr. Bob - drunken goat of a medicine man - colorectal surgeon actually - Yeah I've referred to him as an "ass doctor" too -
but why not afford the man the respect he deserves for a change - a man
with a terrible drinking problem and he is hanging out with this group
of holy roller Jesus freaks who call themselves the Oxford Group. His
poor wife Anne had dragged him there - hoping to find him help. Only it
was not working.
We see this type of
failure to solve the problem all the time today - when real alcoholics
leave AA to "Go to church". They can go to church all they want but
unless there is a personality change sufficient to bring about recovery
from alcoholism or a "spiritual awakening" as it is used in AA parlance
- nothing happens except that we
now have a drunken alcoholic churchman.
Maybe you know a few. Hell, maybe you know a few actual clergy who have not yet found the spiritual solution to their problems. I have met several. You would not want to live inside the head of an alcoholic cleric - trust me.
Bob
does eventually 'get it' and recover from alcoholism but not doing only
this. Something had to change and it was Bill W and what Bill brought
with him to add to Bobs spiritual pursuits that kicked Bob over the
fence to permanent sobriety
When we take a historical
perspective of the events that came to pass back in the day - back in
Akron - we tend to focus on Bill's actions with regard to Doctor Bob -
what Bill did to carry the this message to him and that is well and
good and of extreme import - but just for moment let’s see if we can
also examine not Bills action but Bob's REaction to Bill's action. What were the results of Bills actions and how did it directly a
ffect Dr. Bob?
If
you will recall, Bob was going to give Bill only fifteen minutes of his
precious time at Henrietta's place (See photo below) -- time
he probably would have preferred to spend getting rid of his hangover
gotten from his last drunken escapade when he somehow manages to
sprawled himself under the Smith’s kitchen table - and after coming
home from shopping for Mothers Day potted plant for Anne. Yeah right
Bob. You’re e as potted as the plant pal.
Bob has planted
himself into the midst of a serious group of spiritually minded folk
who have a way of life that will later be the very base formation of
the Twelve Steps - yet the solution still eludes him. What could be
wrong? Why isn’t there a spiritual solution for ol’ Bob Smith?
Simple.
He
never cleaned house. He had not inventoried analyzed and come to grips
with his resentments his fears and his harms to to others and he had not completed making
his amends to all he those owed. He had not made it his life’s ambition to be
of
maximum service to God and his fellows.
If he had been in an AA Group -
which he was not at the time - there weren't any yet - he would have
been quite the dead weight there - being absolutely useless in
maintaining his Group's Primary Purpose. All he did was "Go to (Oxford)
meetings"
, and “suit up and show up." It failed him. Bob is no ordinary EtOH
abusing fool. He’s a real, true alcoholic. Dyed in the wool.
At
Henrietta’s when he heard Bill speak from the perspective of someone
who shared his exact same problem - the message that Bill carried -
THEN the Oxford message could begin to take on depth and weight. Bob
could truly identify with Bill, so much so that the fifteen-minute meeting which began at 5PM did not end till 11:15.
Do
not forget these were two Oxford 'Groupers' who were meeting for the
first time. Not two AAs. There was no AA yet. One man, Bill, was
working the Oxford Program. The other man (Bob) was "Just showing up" -
not placing those six Oxford tenets into his life.
Although he
had the Oxford Group for several years BEFORE Bill had ever even HEARD of them, it was working for Bill and not Bob because Bill was actually
working the Oxford tenets. Sounds like the varied results we see in AA
today, does it not?
The groundwork for the Twelve Stepping
procedure that we find detailed in the Big Book, "Alcoholics Anonymous"
was being created -- a process which far too many of us do not know
enough about. Bill did not talk to
Bob about his drinking escapades. Bill came to Bob with the allergy
theory and the obsession of the mind theory and tied these into Bobs
already existing spiritual knowledge.
Bill combined what he knew of
alcoholism with the God solution of the Oxfords. But he would never
have been able to do it unless Bill knew of alcoholism and used that
hook.
I cannot even begin to be helpful to other sick and suffering alkies in a way that brings them to the common solution without all of these tools -- the same tools with which that Bill worked on Bob.
"
. . . the ex-problem drinker who has found this solution, who is
properly armed with facts about himself, can generally win the entire
confidence of another alcoholic in a few hours. Until such an understanding is reached, little or nothing can be accomplished". (18:2)
Little or nothing! The ex- problem drinker who is yet un-recovered, or still recovering -- who has no idea what it is about him that makes him fit "our description of the alcoholic" (60:3)
cannot win the entire confidence of another alcoholic - not in a few
hours - not in a few years - not ever. Nothing will be accomplished
except perhaps to confuse the poor son of a bitch and maybe even kill
him.
So why on earth would anyone want to say something as stupid to newcomers as "I don't know how this works all I know is that it does"? Gag me with a spoon!
Peace,
Danny S
29 comments
Blog posts and comments are entirely the thoughts and ideas of the people who write them and in no way represent the views of CapeCodToday.com, eCape, Inc., or its employees or owners.
Personally I don't form ad hominine opinions of bloggers, posters, writers and the like - people I have never actually met and probably will not meet. What are the chances that I would have enough information to form an accurate 'judgment? Probably no chance. All I have ever end up with is an opinion - and imaginary characterization - so far from the truth that I end up all eggy faced.
Then again I just might BE angry, self-righteous and judgmental and you could have guessed right on. I might even be a liar - a cheat - a sex pervert - a wife hitter and a tax evading traffic ticket scofflaw. Who knows? Could be. Regardless, your opinion of me is none of my affair. - DJS
You might be interested in knowing that AA is not a secular fellowship. It is a spiritual fellowship. It proposes a Program of recovery that is moral and spiritual.
To say AA should be secular is like saying a Kosher deli ought to sell more pork chops. Oil and water, bro.
The good news is that if you were alcoholic - you would be free to pursue whatever works for you - God - Satan - Edgar Casey - Dr. Phil - Oprah - Depak Chopra - hell Jon, you could even go to AA meetings without EVER learning a damned thing about the AA solution - just hangout out, tell dirty jokes, drink burnt coffee and oggle tramp-stamped drug addicts with wedgied thongs on metal folding chairs ---- OR just drink to the bitter end blotting out the consciousness of your intolerable situation as best you can
What I decided was to accept spiritual help. And I have never regretted it nor has my family.
Ain't America cool? DJS
Despite the statement that alcoholics are free to choose whatever path to address their illness, your arguments for the most part tend to make fun of or minimize any non AA approaches to alcoholism. You state "We are suffering from an illness that only a spiritual experience will conquer" This does not allow for other options,now does it?
You have stated flat-out that other treatment plans, rehab, medical approaches etc. "don't work" That doesn't sound very flexible either.
I am sincerely not intending to put forth an "ad hominim" attack. It is what you say, rather than who you are that leads me to my opinions. To call "Bob" a "Poor son of a bitch" indeed sounds judgmental and angry. So let's just say that that is how you come across, perhaps not who you really are. Peace!
Then you might make some sense.
Holier than who? You! Give me a break.
Anger is the death knell to all true alkies Jon. It kills more alcoholics than you can imagine. If I were still an angry guy - which I very much was prior to recovering - although it was very internalized and no one else really knew - I would not be able to stay sober. I am going to scribe a blog about anger. You have inspired me buddy boy! Thanks.
DJS
Why don't we agree to disagree,OK?
Peace! Jon
Danny, Bill and Bob. Sorry for your problems. Try Oprah. A much more forgiving audience.
What a negative person! SHEESE! DJS
My bride and I have a great relationship and have argued once in the last twenty years. Took all of two minutes to resolve the misunderstanding.
The difference between you and I is I solve my own problems without any help from anyone else. God or otherwise.
Today is my 68th birthday and I am enjoying it with a glass of wine, a smile and dinner with my wife, mom and sister at 4:00.
Just a little history to add to yours. If you think it negative when someone doesn't agree with you I can't help that. Maybe there should be a 13th step.
That's my lucky number.
"tis but a blink of an eye."
Maverick, just want to wish you a Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday to you!
And many more!
Just wanted to say hello before I went out the door. And please tell bitter I get upset from time to time. Not her fault, mine. She doesn't know that I spent part of my youth helping young diabetic black kids in Philly.
I don't have a horse in the race for Pres. Let the best man or woman win.
I just don't like being preached to by someone who can't hold a candle to what we have done.
Look forward to a steak with you this winter. My treat.
Warm regards,
Jack
Have a happy, Captain.
Happy B-Day Mav!
My birthday's tomorrow!
Happy Birthday you old salt!
Have a wonderful eve there Capt!
You're still a youngster with attitude.
Let me know when we visit cru and the steak dinner..
Regarding the trip..I'll give you a shout!
and will extend the invite for the fishing trip when we visit in November.
Perhaps will get him motivated to fly up!
Thanx Mav..
possee
Get off your high-horse. Birthday or not.
"Learn about the benefits of tanning and the myths." Tan in any room at anytime at our Sandwich or Mashpee locations. Seven days a week, two great locations. One price. No appointment... great tan! Call us for monthly specials! (Sandwich)
ERA Cape Real Estate LLC. is a locally owned and operated real estate company with 4 offices, East Falmouth, South Yarmouth, West Dennis and Harwichport, and more then 60 Agents across Cape Cod providing premier services for buyers and sellers in our uni (Dennis)
This is a one-time-only process (or if you change the email on your account), and will help CCToday keep out the spammers. If you cannot validate your email because it is invalid, and you are a legitimate user, feel free to contact us and we will update your account to your current email.
Please Login or Register to leave a comment. There are 3,358 registered commenters!
CapeCodToday requires readers register an account with us in order to post comments. Become a trusted commenter and receive the benefits of posting instantly throughout the site. It's quick and easy!
Please note: If you are a CapeCodToday registered blogger, you can use your blogger login. Your login for the blogs is separate from your CapeCodToday main site login (if you have one).
About This Blog
A welcoming place for anyone affected by drugs and/or alcohol to offer their comments and questions.
For more information visit the AA site.
Here's a simple 12 question test to see if you might benfit from AA. You can join the more than 2,000,000 who now call themselves members, people who once drank
to excess, but who finally acknowledged that they could not handle
alcohol, and now live a new way of life without it.
Recent Comments
- At this point:
"And here's another thing Uncle ronnie did as
3 hrs, 9 mins ago - Sure you don't want to add anything more?
3 hrs, 18 mins ago - Unlike Obama, who can't blow his nose without being harangued
3 hrs, 23 mins ago - Hi, Buzz
Khalid will get as fair a trial in NYC
4 hrs, 31 mins ago - Troy, You look like you were pwned on the email
5 hrs, 52 mins ago
CCT Blog List
- Newest Blog Posts
- Newest Comments
- Cape Cod History
- Entering Falmouth
- Long Bridge Runner
- Bill Snowden's Blog
- Police and Fire News
- Cape & Islands News
- Latimer on Law
- Entering Bourne
- Cape Yoga
- Wellfleet Bay Sanctuary
- The Ballyard
- EXTRA...
- The Poet's Perspective
- Cape Cod Rock Hopper
- Editorial
- Media Watch
- Mr. Mom I am not
- Politicalendar
- Cheap Eats
- Rep. Jeff Perry in His Own Words
- The Belly Check
- Conservative's Conscience
- Mahler's Music Notes
- Historic Harwich
- Off-the-Shelf
- Ned Sonntag
- Literary Pop
- Boston Bureau
- Frugal Internet Marketing
- Cape Native
- Sea Street
- Rog's Gallery
- State of Cape Cod
- Town Notes
- Solon Economou
- Cape Cod Barrister
- Cape Eyes
- CapeCodToday Arts Calendar
- One Day at a Time
- Cape Cod Tracker
- DIY Marketing
- Trail Hound
- Letters to the Editor
- Project I.E.P.
- Op-Ed
- Through a Washashore's Eyes
- Travel Tales
- CapeCodToday Featured Event
- Off Cape
- Bismore Park
- My day
- The Natural
- Buckley's Blog
- Eastham Windmill
- Washington Window
- Seufert's Scenes
- Massachusetts Paranormal Institute
- Cape Cod Pets
- Reflections on a Quarter-life Crisis
- Myrbie & Dax
Archives
- November 2009 (2)
- October 2009 (3)
- September 2009 (5)
- August 2009 (4)
- July 2009 (9)
- June 2009 (8)
- May 2009 (13)
- April 2009 (6)
- March 2009 (2)
- February 2009 (4)
- January 2009 (6)
- December 2008 (5)
- November 2008 (7)
- October 2008 (6)
- September 2008 (6)
- August 2008 (11)
- July 2008 (11)
- June 2008 (15)
- May 2008 (13)
- December 2005 (2)
- October 2005 (1)
Become a CapeCodToday Blogger!
Are you passionate about your community? Do you blog or at least harbor thoughts of doing so?
If so, CapeCodToday.com would like to host your blog on our CapeCodToday weblog publishing platform.

Peace