One Day at a Time

Panning For Recovery Gold

Link: http://gourl.org/dsfaq

Yesterday a very nice lady from somewhere north of this strange Peninsula where I find myself living these past ten years asked me what a “prospect” is. She was referring to the AA Big Book use of the word.

So who or what is  a "Prospect"? I do not speak for the spiritual fellowship called "Alcoholics Anonymous" -  no individual does. When it comes to the Twelve Steps I dont proffer opinions about things with which I  have no experienc either.  I do have experience as a practitioner of the directions that AA's co-founders passed on to the world and a subsequent understanding of the word that is conveyed straight off the pages of their book, " Alcoholics Anonymous”.

 I am a rare bird in this part of the woods - I am very sorry to say. Most AA folks around here have been told that they should apply Tradition Eleven to their personal recovery - which is about appropriate as applying toothpaste to a mosquito bite. Just because some people do it doesn't necessarily mean it does anything. "Not worth Jack's crap" we used to say back in the Bronx.

Sorry Mildred but those are from two separate and distinct sides of the triangle.

"Prospect" is a simple word and their usage is simple too. I have adopted it and I use it as my own-  in my own Twelve Step work.

Anyone with a drinking problem - I consider a “prospect” for what we (I) am offering. I am offering them a solution to their alcoholism IF they are alcoholic and then they can come join us in Fellowship of the Spirit too. I can show them how to make that determination by making clear the distinction between the ‘the alcoholic and the non-alcoholic.”.

If they get clear on that distinction - as clear as I am - and I am very clear on it because I have learned about alcoholism from the first forty three pages - the pages where out of their own bitter experiences the co-authors try their darnedest to smash home that distinction -  then they will be able to come to the very same determination that I will come to about them -- that either they ARE or ARE NOT “one of us”.

What is a “one of us”? It is someone who shares the common problem described in the Big Book, “Alcoholics Anonymous” -- what the co-authors of that wonderfully spiritual volume call “Our description of the alcoholic.” Not my description. Not your description. Not Dr. Drew’s description. Certainly not the “addiction counselor” down the road’s description - shit, he might might not even know that there is such a thing as a “real alcoholic” and he might be telling folks that they cannot and will not ever recover.

Hopefully, my 'prospect will be honest about it and come to a ‘positive’ result ONLY IF it is their truth and not just say “I AM AN ALCOHOLIC” so that they can come to meetings and join the club or satisfy some other reason for attending AA meetings - like legal orders, espousal nagging or just plain lonely hearts club stuff.

If they come to a ‘negative' result and not a 'false positive’ --that although they may have a drinking problem, but perhaps their problems may be solved by less drastic means than a spiritual awakening, I would hope they would do so.

If so then I have done them a tremendous service and not been quick to play God and tell them that they “ARE ALCOHOLIC” simply because they have drinking problem.

They are not then pressured or condemned' to going to meetings for the rest of their lives by group members of me either.

I have sponsored men OUT OF AA too - not just into the rooms.

We are not running a membership drive and the fellowship is already top-heavy with attendees who have never bothered or been show how to qualify themselves.

Not every “prospect” has successfully diagnosed themselves as real alcoholics or satisfied me that I should work with them. I have that obligation to them AND to the fellowship - to not bring non-alcoholics into the fellowship when they don’t need to be here.

They are then free to pursue less drastic means to solve their kind of problem - like counseling, putting the plug in the jug - all those willpower methods available to those who are not real alcoholics for whom the only solution is a spiritual awakening.

All this comes out of the Big Book . Don’t let me or anyone else do your Big Book reading for you. If you read that book PLUS practice what it tells us to do in order to recover from alcoholism I am quite positive that you and I will land right on the same page. So far that has been the case with virtually every alcoholic I have ever met who does this deal.

Those who don’t? . . . the 'readers’ and revisionists of the Big Book -- the ones who love those Big Book and Twelve & Twelve "meetings" that are nothing more than reading circles and the POP-AA discussion meeting addicted attendees who are "still recovering" and "taking a lifetime" to take the steps . . . . .eh . . . .not so much.

Just to clarify, here are some contextual uses of the word "prospect" out of the book, "Alcoholics Anonymous.' You tell me if I am 'on the money' or not.
  

• When you discover a prospect for Alcoholics Anonymous, find out all you can about him. (90:0)
• Remind the prospect that his recovery is not dependent upon people. (99:3)
• When your prospect has made such reparation as he can to his family, and has thoroughly explained to them the new principles by which he is living, he should proceed to put those principles into action at home. (98:3)
• Your prospect may belong to a religious denomination. (93:2)
• Under these conditions your prospect will see he is under no pressure.(91:2)
• That the man who is making the approach has had the same difficulty, that he obviously knows what he is talking about, that his whole deportment shouts at the new prospect that he is a man with a real answer, . . . . (18:3)
• Next day found the prospect more receptive. He had been thinking it over. "Maybe you're right," he said. "God ought to be able to do anything." (158:1)
• Your junior executive may not agree with the contents of our book. He need not, and often should not show it to his alcoholic prospect. (148:1)
• Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once. Search out another alcoholic and try again. You are sure to find someone desperate enough to accept with eagerness what you offer. (96:0)
• One of our Fellowship failed entirely with his first half dozen prospects. He often says that if he had continued to work on them, he might have deprived many others, who have since recovered, of their chance.(96:0)
• One day they called up the head nurse of a local hospital. They explained their need and inquired if she had a first class alcoholic prospect. (155:3)

"Like a gaunt prospector, belt drawn in over the last ounce of food, our pick struck gold. Joy at our release from a lifetime of frustration knew no bounds." (128:3)

Peace,

Danny S