State of Cape Cod

Should We Dress for Dinner?

Following our recent discussion of the need for dress codes in our schools, it became apparent that the fruit does, indeed, fall close to the tree. Children learn best from their parents, so perhaps slovenly dress habits begin in the home. One needs only to spend time eating in restauants to develop a heightened awareness that standards governing an individual’s appearance in public has, in many cases, deteriorated to the point of nonexistence. 

Sartorially speaking, things ain't what they used to be. While there are certainly more circumspect ways to express this, none is more accurate than to simply state that lots of our fellow Cape Codders have become slobs. Many of them go out to dinner dressed like bums. This holiday season would be a good time to take stock of the way we appear in public and, if need be, remedy our public image. 

I recognize and welcome the fact that here on the Cape things are more laid back than in the city. I own neither suit nor necktie and seldom, if ever, feel the lack of those items. A sport shirt and slacks suffices for all but the dressiest events. There's a blazer in the closet for those occasions, with a string tie on hand if, for some archaic and obscure reason, neckwear should be required.

Some years ago I went out to dinner in a golf shirt and slacks which, I believed, would be acceptable. It would have been, at lunch, but in this particular, and thankfully rare, establishment, a polite sign in the lobby warned that jackets were required in the evening and one was discreetly provided by the establishment. Rules were rules. No problem.

On another occasion, lunching on the patio of a private club wearing slacks, a golf shirt, and a blazer, I was handed a necktie and told to put it on. Definitely a problem. It was midday. Outdoors. My golf shirt did not call for a tie. My host should have told me that a necktie would be required, but he had not. There had been no notification until I was seated. Rather than permit the rag to be fastened around my neck, I chose to leave, while loudly and colorfully accusing the maitre de of possessing less than normal intelligence. Not my finest hour. Nor his, for that matter.

Fast forward several years to this past summer. Dinner in an upscale restaurant. With my usual golf shirt, slacks and blazer, a string tie at the ready in my pocket, I found myself overdressed. There were men in tank tops, shorts, and flip-flops. Women in cut-off T-shirts with insies and outsies on display over short shorts and flip-flops. A girl in a bathing suit top, a damp skirt loosely wrapped around her waist, and flip-flops. Children in swim suits and the ubiquitous flip-flops. Teen aged boys with caps on backwards, in pants several sizes too large festooned with chains and studs and dragging on the floor and, for all one could see, no shoes at all.

Times have changed. While more relaxed attire has always been the rule here on the Cape, people now dress far less decorously than they once did. We're not talking about a burger joint nor a place where fish and chips are served on paper plates. Even full service establishments, with tablecloths, linen napkins and professional waitstaff, have lowered, if not completely obliterated, their standards. Economics have something to do with it, to be sure. Restauranteurs are loathe to turn away trade, even at the risk of alienating other patrons, and understandably, but not acceptably, so.  

In these litigious times restaurant owners are fearful of being hit with a lawsuit should they refuse anyone admission. Customers have acquired the right under the much abused First Amendment to wear what they choose with little regard for decency, propriety, and the sensibilities of others. But can anyone deny that serving, or dining with, a bunch of slobs is a turn off? Ought not a proprietor have the right to run his business, whatever it might be, as he sees fit?

Horses for courses. Some restaurants don’t mind what their customers wear. Some people don’t care how they dress for dinner. That’s all well and good but there are others, proprietors and patrons alike, who would prefer more decorum and what many consider to be acceptable dining attire; diners who would prefer to be among a more refined clientele and the dignified atmosphere that might engender. They are, in my opinion, being discriminated against.

Shouldn’t any entrepreneur be allowed to establish rules for his business, restaurant or otherwise? He has a lot at stake and, if the enterprise succeeds, so also does the community in terms of an improved economy, more tax revenue, greater employment opportunities, additional business traffic, and other ancillary advantages. With proper notification in advertisements and signage, every business should be permitted to establish its own self image and project its chosen public persona. Market forces will soon determine success or failure.

Presumably a successful restauranteur will have acquired enough expertise to evaluate the demographics of the area in which he operates, determine the clientele he’d like to attract, and to implement the means to do so.  He should have the freedom to run his business as he sees fit, as should any businessman. Casual resort area or not, those who prefer a more decorous ambience should be accommodated, and establishments who choose to provide it should be allowed to do so. Nor would it hurt their children to see parents properly attired when out in public.

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