The Phantom Cyclist

Wonders of the Cape Cod Bike Trails 12

The purpose of this series is to give you a look at some of the remarkable sites along - or near - the Cape Cod Bike Trails. They're a part of the rich history and charm of Cape Cod not recorded in the works of H. D. Thoreau, Joseph Lincoln, Henry Beston, Mary Higgins Clark, Robert Finch or Robert Crais. By reading about them, I hope you will gain a closer, more imtimate and meaningful appreciation of this unique little island paradise, as you pedal merrily along its bike trails.

 The Madonna and Jesus on a Bicycle.

(a slightly outrageous tale).

If you are easily offended by any stories based on religious experiences…please read no farther. I repeat: If you are easily offended by any stories based on religious experiences…please read no farther. PLEASE LEAVE NOW!

I wish not to offend anyone - but only to report an event, which may be thought of as a religious experience. It deals with an apparition, which, if proven true, could tie up a part of the bike trail with traffic congestion worse than Boston on a Monday morning.

Things like this I don't take lightly. I am a very spiritual person. At one time I had given thought to entering the ministry - but the door was locked - and the poor box had already been emptied - so, I gave up the idea. (ba-da-boom! Triple rimshot). I say this knowing that the Big "G" has a mighty good sense of humor. Although, the Archdiocise of Boston may not.

It all began early one Sunday morning, when my cell phone awoke me out of a very peaceful sleep, dreaming of certain politicians being water-boarded. (If I only offend 28% of my readers here, that's okay. My accountant says 72% will approve.)

Back to my story. On the other end of this early morning chin-wag was my old friend and fellow cyclist, Ron Moronski. He was having a fit, while trying to sputter out the words, "Ma-Ma-d-dd-onna and J-J-Jesus Onnna B-b-biiii-cycle. "Okay Ron" I said, "take a deep breath, then speak again slooooowly."

Ron spilled the beans as calmly as he could. and instead of speaking in his stuttering dialect - which could become quite tedious - I'll relate what he said. Ron had just entered the underpass beneath route 6 in Eastham, when his eye caught sight of a darkish sort of stain on one of the upperish tiles lining the underpass. He stopped his bike, turned to face the stain - and almost passed out when he viewed the image, which, he said, "Looked exactly like the Madonna, on a bicycle, toting the baby Jesus in a toddler's seat." I thought Ron had gone around the bend - or fallen off his tricycle. He pleaded with me to come up and see the apparition.

Not wanting to discourage a friend, who was obviously in a state of high religious excitement, I said, "Let me get dressed and I'll be there in about an hour. Do you have your camera with you?" Ron answered in the negative, further stating that he couldn't find any film for his digital camera. I knew this to be a lie, because Joblot has it - and Ron always shops there. "Okay," I said, "I'll bring mine."

I showered, shaved, dressed in my Sunday best (remembering that if I was going to be in the presence of Mary and Jesus I'd better look neat and tidy), then put my bike on the car rack and drove Northward. Recalling that the closest parking lot was just across the way from the underpass, I headed there to save time. Then I got on my bicycle and pedaled the short distance to the underpass, where Ron was sitting in tears.

"They're gone," Ron said, fighting back another burst of tears. I looked up at the tiles, and sure enough, they were clean as a whistle. Then the thought struck me, ' I wonder why the Madonna, et al, were always appearing in places like thruway underpasses, or on toasted cheese sandwiches (like the one on eBay) - and not some grandiose place - like the White House.' Could they have a bad booking agent? Then I quickly remembered the whole thing about separation of church and state - and that put things in perspective.

I comforted Ron, telling him that perhaps they had pedaled off for a brunch or ice cream break - and would return shortly. Ron seemed a little calmer now, and consoled himself with a mouthful of his "Righteous Path" trail mix. And then ----something strange and wonderful happened. As the Sunday morning, "going home from church crowd" began to pass overhead, THE VISION REAPPEARED! I saw it with my own eyes - as did Ron! We both broke into tears of joy and felt quite spiritually elevated.

I raised my camera to capture the image, then, suddenly my heart sank. Gosh darn! Cheese and Crackers -- Got all Muddy! I forgot the film for my digital camera, too. But, I know what I saw. And now I'm a believer. I could not make out what brand of bicycle it was, but, if I finally do at some point, I'll contact the manufacturer and make a mint off of them for the photo.

Could this apparition be a harbinger of things to come? A yearly visit from Jesus and his mom to bless the bike trails? I certainly hope so. It would be nice to have faith in something good in this day and age.

It makes you wonder.

NOTE: Perhaps the Rail Trail association will start an "Adopt the Cycling Madonna and Son" theme and residents can keep the area neat and tidy for all the visitors. You may want to query the 'keepers of the trail' at Nickerson State Park -- or someone influential in the town of Eastham.

Nickerson State Park
3488 Main Street, Brewster, MA 02631
Phone (508) 896-3491
Toll-Free (877) 422-6762

Town of Eastham
2500 State Hwy
Eastham, MA 02642
PH: 508.240.5900
Hours: 8AM - 4PM, Mon - Fri.

--- The Phantom Cyclist