East of Boston

The Abyss Stares Also Into You

Not a lot of people know this, but on this very (yester)day in 1780, New England fell into a period of mid-day darkness. Long story short, it involved a forest fire in Ontario, a heavy fogbank, and low-hanging clouds. You needed a candle to read inside for a full day, even at noon.

Barnstable went totally dark at 2 PM, and remained so for like a full day or something. The moon that night was blood red. What people then called the Darkness stretched from New Jersey to Maine.

I'm not making this sh*t up... look:

New England's Dark Day - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The Darkness was real then, more powerful than the very Sun itself. Those folks of the more apocalyptic bent saw this as a Biblical prophecy for the second coming of Mr. J.

"... the sun will be darkened, the moon will not give its light, the stars will fall from the sky..." (Matthew 24:29)

They proceeded to make a series of short-sighted real estate deals, which is how all those Jews got into places like Sharon.

New England recently suffered another bout of Darkness recently, as one long and terrible weekend saw:

- The Bruins get eliminated from the playoffs, on a sudden death 7th game overtime goal by the guy who sucker punched one of our boys in Game 5 and didn't get his ass kicked for it.

- The Celtics missed KG more than we feared, and were eliminated by an Orlando team that did all it could to hand the series to us.

- Big Papi really, really needs to get back on the Juice. I watched him strike out and pop out with the bases loaded in a soul-crushing 14 inning heartbreaker, and I almost had to stab someone. One gets the feeling that he's a Mitchell Report leak from a 50 game suspension that will almost be like a mercy killing.

My nanny had the sound of idea of having Papi intentionally suffer an injury that requires steroids as part of the rehabilitation process. My own feelings on the matter are that Papi will always be a hero of mine, and- if he can no longer hit 35 HRs a year- he should immediately be declared Mayor For Life in the city of Boston.

Anywho... from the moment the Celtics got snuffed in their own building Sunday night, New England entered into a period of Darkness. The next time I watch a non-baseball team sport, it'll be Autumn. I really wish that this were an Olympic year, but No.

That's a tough blow for me, as I've grown quite accustomed to our winter teams making deep playoff runs. Even the Bruins were getting into the act this year. Ever since that SOB from Kansas City caved in Brady's knee, my perfect little sports world has started to unravel. KG's season-ender took the life out of the Celtics, and the puck simply bounced the wrong way for the Bruins.

It just all happened so fast, in one long and terrible weekend. I'll be OK, but it'll take some time.