State of Cape Cod

Don't Stifle Them With Plenty

In an essay for his middle school English class a grand-nephew compared his life with that of his grandmother at the same age. He enumerated all the technological advantages he enjoys in contrast to those with which, in his mind, she suffered in 1948. Flat screen HD color TV instead of a ten inch black and white set. Cell phone rather than party line rotary instrument. The internet as opposed to “snail mail”. He missed at least one far more important difference.

No matter where you lived back then, whether in New Jersey as I did or here on Cape Cod, your neighbors were of similar ethnic and religious background and many were relatives. In or out of the home, parents worked hard and had little time to oversee their children’s every activity. Consequently, youngsters enjoyed a lot more freedom from intrusive adult supervision than kids do today.

The positive influence of that freedom during their developmental years was far more beneficial than contemporary parental micro management and overindulgence. Unlike the ultra dependent “gimme” adolescents of today, many of whom will grow up looking to government to satisfy all their needs, the children of the WWII generation developed into resourceful and self sufficient adults.

Nowadays every childhood activity is organized. Parents are involved in, provide for, and supervise every facet of their youngsters’ lives. To some degree this is necessary in our perilous world. Apparently the bountiful existence and technological progress that children enjoy has encouraged predators as well. On the Cape there is the further potential hazard of water, water everywhere. Little mass transit is available, hence the evolution of parents as recreation directors and Mom as chauffeur.

In the old neighborhoods everyone knew and looked out for all the kids. They were as often taken to task by some other child’s mother as by their own. There were always adults around, but aside from that eternal passive vigilance they were on their own. That wasn’t a bad thing.

They organized their own sports teams. They didn’t have uniforms or much equipment, No manicured regulation field with umpires. No coach. They may not even have had a full team. They simply gathered at the local empty lot, chose up sides, and played. They didn’t know they were deprived. They accepted what they had and made the most of it.

Games weren’t scheduled – they were arranged. “My guys can beat your guys.” “Oh yeah? Be at the field after school.” That afternoon both teams would show up, the ground rules negotiated to accommodate conditions and the number of players available, and the game was played. No parents. No spectators. No officials. No scoreboard. Just a lot of enthusiasm, and, more importantly, independence.

Sports were seasonal, and were often adapted to fit existing conditions. Baseball became stickball if a broom handle and a pink rubber ball were all they had. Soccer was unheard of, but there was “kick the can”. Same objective but no headers. Football could be touch or tackle, depending upon whether there was a grassy field, a rocky field, or only the street in which to play.

Both sexes played hide and seek together. In a team version, one group would hide while their opponents tried to find, catch and tag them. Often played on summer evenings, while parents watched and shouted encouragement from their porch rockers, the game never really ended, usually degenerating into a lot of chasing and shouting around the neighborhood until bedtime.

Boys played box ball, like tennis with sidewalk squares as the court and their hands as racquets; and stoop ball, bouncing the ubiquitous pink ball off the point of the porch steps. Some activities encouraged gambling, even at that tender age. Marbles for keeps. Pitching baseball cards (or pennies) for keeps. Having something at stake helped teach concentration.

There were also individual games for girls, who had little opportunity for organized sports. The schools had few, if any, teams for them. They had to be satisfied with activities like jumping rope. Sound like sissy stuff? Take a look at Double Dutch. They also played games with a ball, like Jacks or some rhyming, bouncing games that were quite intricate. Hopscotch was a big female favorite, demanding coordination and body control.

For many, the corner store was their youth center. It didn’t cost anything, was easy to get to, no one had to be driven, and there was always something to do. A kid was sure to find some of his friends whenever he stopped by. There was no adult supervision at the store except for the proprietor, and none was needed. Whoever got out of line would be banished, and then what would life be like?

Most free time was spent outdoors in games that involved running, jumping, throwing, and other physical tasks. Each group had maybe one overweight member, and he was looked down upon. Obesity was unknown. Fat, yes, but obesity? A fancy word for a serious problem in children? Not to be imagined in those active years.

It cannot be denied that the differences between the young teens of the WWII era and today’s junior high set are profound. Neither progress nor technology can, or should, be blamed. Contemporary young folk expect to be provided with their every want. Rampant unbridled indulgence is the rule and must be reined in. Children should be encouraged to cultivate independence. Society would be well advised to seek a viable way to accomplish this along with the courage to implement it.

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