Off-the-Shelf

Flock Ten Science

 

"What happened to this song,

we once knew so well?"

- from "The Revealing Science of God" by Yes

 

Why flock? Why ten? Why science? All good questions.

Way back in February 2007 -- back in the good ol' days -- I posted a collection of my recent comments. Searching for an appropriate title, I settled on "A Flock of Comments," as in a flock of birds. I'm sure instead I could have used "herd" as in cows, or "school" as in fish, or "pod" as in whales, or "gaggle" as in geese, or "murder" as in crows, or "slew" as in slugs.

As for "ten," this is the tenth such "flock." 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10. It's all very scientific.

Actually, ten is an interesting number. Our entire counting system is based on the number ten. It probably has something to do with the fact that Homo sapiens have ten fingers. Or that there are ten candlepins in a bowling lane. Like I said, it's all very scientific.

So, without further delay, "Flock of Comments - Ten."

 

*****

In response to: Flock 9 from Outer Space

Three dimensions are so overrated. I'll stick with just the two, thank you very much. Isometric projections are so pretentious, don't you think? Don't want to be like Icarus, reaching for the sun, only to fall back to earth. As Ahab said, "We go round and round like yonder windlass." But I digest ... or rather ... digress. See what happens before I've had my first cup of coffee.

*****

In response to: Non sequitur tyrannis

Note to self: In future blogs, to increase readership, avoid Latin titles.

Note to self: In future blogs, avoid quoting from 19th century poets.

Note to self: In future, avoid vague classical music references.

Note to self: And, avoid jokes about Greek mathematicians.

Note to self: And about English philosophers.

Note to self: And French physicists.

Note to self: And squirrels.

Note to self: And Death.

*****

In response to: Non sequitur tyrannis

Horror writer H.P. Lovecraft wrote: "There is in the land of Mnar a vast still lake that is fed by no stream, and out of which no stream flows. Ten thousand years ago there stood by its shore the mighty city of Sarnath, but Sarnath stands there no more." - from the short story, "The Doom that Came to Sarnath."

Unfortunately, Sarnath fell victim to widespread foreclosures brought on by subprime mortgages.

Well, that and the great water lizard, Bokrug.

*****

In response to: The Sleeping

To paraphrase Macbeth: It may be "tis the eye of childhood that fears a painted Devil," but closer to home, "tis I that fear painting my windows this fall."

Casting back -- I noticed that two years ago, in one of my blog entries (07/11/08), I quoted Shakespeare in reference to Hamlet, well, sort of: "To be, or not to be, that is the question, whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune ... or to take a job paying minimum wage, lousy benefits, and weekend and evening hours!"

Oh well, such is life. Speaking of life, let's conclude with Macbeth: "Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more." Except on Facebook, that is.

Flourish. Exeunt omnes.

*****

In response to: God Grief

At the Last Supper, Judas clearly leaves early to avoid paying. I think Jesus picked up the tab anyway, after all, how does one divide by 13 ... in the days before calculators, no less.

By the way, Peter was the big eater of the group. He had the soup and sandwich combo, which included a side order of coleslaw and a pickle. He wanted dessert, but Jesus balked, saying if he ate any more he'd get tired and fall asleep, and Jesus wanted Peter to sit up with him in the garden while he prayed. (We all know how that worked out.)

*****

In response to: God Grief

The other day I was reading from the Gospel of St. Matthew - the Parable of the Sower (the story of the sower who scattered seeds on hard ground and they sprung up quickly but then died because they did not have good, deep roots, etc) when I began to consider my own garden. I've got cucumbers coming out of my ears -- I can't eat them fast enough. I'm putting cukes in my salads, cukes in my sandwiches, cukes in my breakfast cereal, heck, I even tried cukes in the blender with strawberry daiquiri mix and rum (Note to self: Don't ever try that again). Still, I have four more big, ripe cucumbers staring at me at this very moment. I wonder how they'd taste with vanilla ice cream and hot fudge sauce? (Note to self: Stick with bananas.)

*****

In response to: God Grief

Cucumber Update ... Six more cucumbers from the garden this morning. And about another dozen in the works. I ate a whole cuke last night for dessert. I just can't keep pace with production. I'm beginning to feel some serious cucumber stress. I need help. In fact, I need some serious professional help. Or at the very least, I need more mayonnaise.

*****

In response to: God Grief

The other morning I was out on my daily walk in the neighborhood when I swear I smelled cucumbers. Last week, at the same spot, I smelled vinegar. If I smell mayonnaise today I'm going home to make myself a salad.

I remember reading how Tchaikovsky would take a walk for about an hour each afternoon and compose music in his head while he walked. Of course, Tchaikovsky also had a recurring fear that his head would fall off while conducting. I have a fear that my garden will produce a cucumber so magnificent that it will become self aware, will go on to college (on my tab, no less), and will then run for US Senate.

*****

In response to: The Divan Comedy

Casting back to a Religious Studies course I took with a Prof. Onehill, Dante's "The Divine Comedy" consists of three parts:

I - Inferno (Hell - all 9 circles)

II - Purgatorio (Purgatory)

III - Paradiso (Heaven)

Interestingly, a hot toddy consists of three parts as well:

I - Hot water

II -Honey

III - Whisky

It is unclear which parts represent Hell, Purgatory, and Heaven. On this matter, Prof. Onehill could offer me no assistance -- after all, he was a red wine drinker.

Jack Sheedy

Next time: The Merciful Demise of Thomas J. McSheey. Lemonade will be served.