Off-the-Shelf

Happy Herbert Hoover Day!

Think about the length of a year.
Four seasons. Twelve months. Fifty-two weeks.
Three hundred and sixty-five days (366 during a leap year).
That's a long time! Too long if you ask me!

During that long, long year we have these little breaks called weekends wedged in between Friday and Monday. Two days to unwind, to mow the lawn, to change the oil in the Chevy, to read a book, to write a blog, and to sip a nice cool beer or two. God certainly knew what He was doing when He created weekends. After all, even He rested after creating the world. I can just see Him kicking back in His chaise longue with a beer, listening to the ballgame on the radio (of course, He didn't have cable TV way back "in the beginning").

But sometimes, even weekends aren't enough. So God, in his infinite wisdom, scattered "holidays" throughout the calendar to spice things up - New Year's Day and MLK Day in January, Presidents' Day in February, Memorial Day in May, and so on and so forth. In fact, there are holidays in all months except March, April, June, and August. Of course, March has St. Patrick's Day, which is as close to a holiday as you can get - heck, they color the beer green for God's sake! If that's not the makings of a holiday then I don't know what is! And April has Easter, which has all the feeling of a holiday except that it falls on a Sunday - why couldn't Jesus have raised himself from the tomb on a Monday?! And June, for us Boston-types, has Bunker Hill Day.

So that leaves August. Hot, steamy, sticky, August. If any month truly needs a holiday it's August. It's one hazy, hot, and humid month ... and it's the full 31 days long, not like wimpy February with its measly 28 days. August is one big fat, sweaty rip-off of a month as far as time off with pay goes.

Therefore, I propose that we find a way to provide August with a holiday ... or perhaps two. The most obvious choice would be to celebrate a President's birthday. Actually we have four to choose from: Aug 10 for Herbert Hoover, Aug 19 for Bill Clinton, Aug 20 for Benjamin Harrison, and Aug 27 for Lyndon Johnson. My vote is for Hoover on the 10^th, as his birthday falls right in between Independence Day and Labor Day. And it would be a nice way of making it up to Hoover for always blaming him for the Great Depression.

Or instead, we could go with an important event, like: Aug 2 - Iraq Invades Kuwait Day (1990), or Aug 5 - Nuclear Test Ban Day (1963), or Aug 9 - Nixon Resignation Day (1974). Or how about Aug 21 - Hawaii Statehood Day (1959). Or Aug 26 - Women Get the Vote Day (1920). Or Aug 27 - Krakatoa Eruption Day (1883). Of course, we could opt for a three-day holiday event full of peace, love, and music, from Aug 15-17 - Woodstock Days (just stay away from the brown acid, man).

There's always HP Lovecraft's birthday on Aug 20 or Ray Bradbury's birthday on Aug 22 for the science fiction/horror buff. Or Count Basie's birthday on Aug 21 for the jazz buff. Or Neil Armstrong's birthday on Aug 5 for the first-man-on-the-moon buff.

As you can see there's a lot to choose from. I say we try out Hoover Day on the 10^th and Hawaii Day on the 21^st. And just for fun, let's celebrate Woodstock Days as sort of a pseudo holiday - so be sure to save up your sick time. Boy, August is suddenly shaping up to be the best month of the year!

So, until next time, I wish you all a very merry Herbert Hoover Day and a happy Hawaii Statehood celebration!

Jack Sheedy