One Day at a Time

Light The Candles Anyway

Dedicated to anyone who, for whatever reason, is not having the best of a holiday season, yet - or who is sure that this could be a distinct possibility.

The story of Chanukah or the Festival of Lights has enormously profound lessons of interest to anyone in recovery, especially those who “practice these principles in all our affairs” – in others words Twelve Steppers - and to all who honor the traditions. 

RecoverING Alcoholics Can Move Forward

Spiritual Backsliding

How Do Recovered Alcoholics Spell 'Trouble'?

Maybe it is true that there is no cure for alcoholism via the Twelve Step formula. That's what the co-founders of AA tell us anyway.

If they are correct - and they always seem to be - then it must also be true that those of us who have recovere,  really only have a daily reprieve. Failing to maintaining our spiritual condition results in clemency being being withdrawn.

That picture being drawn makes it really easy see how letting up on the spiritual life sends us immediately toward a breakdown of communication with God.

And boy, does that spell trouble.

As our consciousness wanes so does our ability to handle stress. More aptly put: We begin to lose our gift of resiliency to resentfulness. Impatience, anger, negativity and emotionality all flood back into our lives and we will once again resort to sensual solutions. Food, sex, chemicals, and yes maybe even alcohol begin restablishing their perversely obsessive sway over life as we dive back into the troubled waters of awareness-distracting activities. Even service, sponsorship, work or religion  - things normally considered to be constructive activities can be abused - serving as ego-stimulating substitutes for the less-acceptable indulgences.

That is because any regression of our spiritual health also spells the progression of spiritual illness. We go backwards. (For many of us, "backsliding" will include not meditating.)

^{Lack of moment -by-moment awareness sets us up for spiritual failure.} 

 

Once backsliding begins we reinstate our former tendency toward dishonesty and internal excuse making causing us to once again repress the little things – just like we always had done prior to awakening - stuffing them so deeply they remain far and away from our consciousness. It is automatic.

There they will sit to fester - infecting the psyche - twisting our minds, our behaviors and finally mangling our bodies with emotionally caused diseases until we are at last dead.

^{Not a single drop o' the cratur necessarily. Resentment and subsequent self-centeredness is just as deadly.}

Therefore it is preferable to handle those seemingly inconsequential events in the moment, as they happen, in real-time – while they are still current. Since these things are the food for ego-self, our dark-nature seeks to draw them in. It craves it.

Repression only leads to a miserable lifetime of fighting against the self for domination. Strangely, we become addicted to the struggle. Fighting self becomes our new obsession.

We avoid backsliding through daily prayer and meditation. It is the only way, until the day we walk on water, if that day could ever come. We can extend awareness throughout each day remaining conscious of God's vision for us. 

Through awareness comes the vision and power to carry it out; or to put it into Scripture language, that is how Gods kingdom comes "on earth as it is in heaven". 

Peace and  Love,

Danny S – RLRA

Real Live Recovered Alcoholic

http://recoveredalcoholic.blogspot.com

Is There Truly a "Real" Alcoholic?

Sometimes when the "Working with others” approaches and routines are run on prospects, the result being that the recovered member is not satisfied that his candidate is a "real alcoholic". To continue with such a person will not likely turn out well. Either he are wasting his precious power to help (When no one else can) or else his prospect will not go through with it anyway – often both of these happen.

Although a person is haunted by bedeviling troubles and certain unmanageabilities compounded through a history of abusive relationships with substances; say foods like sugar and alcohol - or perhaps even drugs - in order to compensate and anesthetize his pain - something still doesn’t quite ring true with him.

Yes, he may even have a drinking problem and even speak of dire problems other than alcoholism; he earns our sympathy, yet out of our best estimation we must abort the mission. We are armed with facts about our own alcoholism, are able to “tell him what we know” about it. Still the feedback coming from our prospect just does not match up with what we know and have experienced as chronic alcoholism as delineated in the magnificent spiritual text, story and prayer book, “Alcoholics Anonymous: The Story of How Many Thousands of Men and Women Have Recovered from Alcoholism”

Just as we are directed to not pronounce individual prospects as alcoholic we are also not directed to tell him that he isn’t one.

The ‘Whether or not’ determination is up to him. However it is based on him learning what real alcoholism is.

Then he can convince himself, thereby owning the distinction, holding it in his heart. He can arrive at that place where his concession is complete and valid.

For “I am an alcoholic” to have any substantive power behind it there must come, out of personal admission, that famously AA “innermost self” concession. It cant be some hypnotic, recovery- zombie retort; just because some fat old, chain-smoking fart with a scowl, a caffeine addiction and a reputation for sliding his hand down the thongs of newcomers fresh out of the local woman’s facility - say we are "In the right place.”

It doesn’t matter how many amusing AA anecdotes he knows or how 'twinkling' are his eyes. That twinkle just might be the vacant gaze through 'Prozac Glaze'.

What we can do is tell a suspiciously, non-qualifying man that we are not satisfied that he is alcoholic, making it clear that we have no way of truly knowing.

That's exactly what your humble narrator does. Then I allow some latitude for correction. Let him dig deeper into his own story. Help him. Hopefully he will be able to pull out some plums. Those will convince me (And him too- if he has been paying attention) that he is one of us. Even more he now has credentials which he can draw authority in the near future when he begins to tell HIS story to help others identify in the same manner; credentials that no doctor, counselor, priests, rabbi or spiritual guru, or MOTR “sponsor” holds – unless they have walked exactly in his shoes and recovered from the malady. We can help when all of those cannot. We who have recovered ARE the recovery pros.

Some folks just aren’t real, true alcoholics by the Big Book description and not in need of the drastic proposals presented in that work. They may benefit from some of them – hell, who wouldn’t do well to take some personal inventory and right the wrongs of their part? But to adopt the extreme reordering of lifestyle proposed for a simple “problem with drinking? Uh Uh. Ain't gonna happen.

Don’t believe in “real”, “true” or even” potential” alcoholics – or that we are supposes to make the distinctions? Well then try these on for size:

ALCOHOLICS

"REAL" Ones

• Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. (30:0)

• These are the earmarks of a real alcoholic. (109:0)

• But what about the real alcoholic? (21:1)

• The tragic truth is that if the man be a real alcoholic, the happy day may not arrive. (23:4)

• Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. (31:1)

• He agreed he was a real alcoholic and in a serious condition. (35:3)

• If you are satisfied that he is a real alcoholic, begin to dwell on the hopeless feature of the malady. (92:1)

"TRUE" Ones

• Of those who keep on, a good number will become true alcoholics after a while. (109:0)

• This is by no means a comprehensive picture of the true alcoholic, as our behavior patterns vary. (22:1)

• At first some of us tried to avoid the issue, hoping against hope we were not true alcoholics. (44:2)

"POTENTIAL" Ones

• That company may harbor many actual or potential alcoholics. (149:1)

• Potential alcoholic that I was, I nearly failed my law course. (2:0)

• We, who are familiar with the symptoms, see large numbers of potential alcoholics among young people everywhere. (34:3)

"ACTUAL/TRUE" Ones

• But the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge. (39:1)
  

• That company may harbor many actual or potential alcoholics. (149:1)

The narrative supporting our inherent ability to recognize the distinction between the two is in those first forty three pages and we are encouraged to do so. It comes with the avocation.

If you can't do it . . . then you can't do it.

Once making the determination for ourselves we can then make that important, formal statement, saying, “I am one of you” leading to 'I am a member’. No one fitting the alcoholic description in the first forty three pages of the Big Book can be kicked out.

Here a surprise: If we don’t fit it we can’t be kicked out either. You can’t kick someone out of a fellowship to which they never actually qualified for membership in the first place, now can you?

Tradition Three -What a thing of beauty!

Peace & Love,

Danny S – RLRA

Real Live Recovered Alcoholic

http://recoveredalcoholic.blogspot.com

Stay For The Miracle

There is a story in the Big Book, “Alcoholics Anonymous” that tells of a man who came from a family headed by a minister. Despite strong 'religious' ties and being heavily dosed with religious education the man's immediate family was still besieged with business failure, insanity, fatal illness, suicide – the sorts of things from which a clerical family really ought to be liberated - one who think.

Then despite his horrific background and hypocritical religious upbringing; and despite that he came to suffer from alcoholism, depression and lived a bitter life plagued with serious suicidal ideation – the man still became sane. How did it happen?

Uh . . . . AA. That's how.

His return to mental health began when he was “approached by an alcoholic who had known a spiritual experience.” (56:1)

The co-founders commented, “What is this but a miracle of healing?”

The "miracle of healing” implies that an alcoholic can actually be restored to mental, physical and spiritual health by supernatural means - not natural or human treatments.

The co-founders of AA - those original promoters of the Twelve Step solution - referred to alcoholism a “common” peril. They didn’t mean that it was trivial. "Common", back in the 30s, meant belonging to or shared by more than one.

Your alcoholism is exactly the same as my alcoholism -- if you are one. (And if I am too)

There is no "my disease" and "your disease". If you have what I have - then we have it! If your problem with alcohol is not exactly the same as mine - then one or both of us is not a real alcoholic.

Together we are a “distinct entity” called alcoholic which sets us apart from the rest of the population who do not share this particular commonality – a broken mind and body we call ‘alcoholism.’

It also means we are share something else, ". . . we have discovered a common solution” and that solution is the spiritual awakening , the sole outcome of the Twelve Steps ‘well performed’, turning life and will over to God. In short, only a miracle can reverse the damage of this hideous two fold malady and that miracle is available to some of us.

Yes, “The age of miracles is still with us.” (153:1)

The example of the minister's son shows that alcoholics do indeed recover from alcoholism as well as answering their other problems (Or what some folks with only cursory knowledge of the Traditions sometimes erroneously refer to as "outside issues" ) get answered as well - and they live happily whole and useful lives without the sauce, without depression, without thoughts of suicide, without bitterness or any mental or physical disorder.

“We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it.”

Oh, so that is the miracle. Shoot! I thought it was "Just don't drink" and then everything will be OK!

Peace & Love,
Danny S – RLRA
Real Live Recovered Alcoholic