One Day at a Time
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Resting On Laurels
Look at Step Ten. If you think I mean read the summary of Step Ten off the Twelve Steps shades hanging on the wall or what can be gleaned off of page 59 -- I do not. I have noticed that folks who "do the steps" off the wall end up being "off the wall" themselves.
I mean read the actual directions for taking Step Ten. They are on page 84 and they are followed by some unbelievably wonderful promises to be had as the result. They will BLOW YOUR MIND!
Now,
here's where some life changing challenges comes in. We begin to see
that practicing these principles in all of our affairs is much more
than a week or month long spurt of 4th step inventory writing and an afternoon of fifth step talking.
It means changing the way we approach our daily lives - moment by moment and day by day. It takes commitment
- a commitment that is not so hard for those of us who have by now felt
a miracle and are experiencing a new flow of power into our lives. We
have come to believe and making drastic changes is now possible where
before it was not. But it can be impossibly difficult for anyone who has not taken the previous steps and consequently begun to have the spiritual experience promised.
People
who “take the steps” through non-AA, watered down easier-softer alternatives like AWOL programs or by reading the 12 &
12 may not get the powerful new flow of Gods grace. When or if they do, it
seems short-lived.
There is no continued growth in effectiveness They “wait”. And they “wait”. And they “wait”. And they
read. And they read. And they read. And they discuss. And they discuss.
And then they argue over what a spiritual awakening is. Attempting to
living off of a spiritual experience had years or months ago is not growth. It's resting on laurels. And for real alcoholics it is deadly.
There
are thousands of us out there going to Big Book meetings, and Twelve
and Twelve meetings - reading Twelve and Twelve essays, the stories in
the back of the Big Book - who are so self centered that we have
resorted to turning Dr. O. into a demigod and page 449/417 into a
mantra for feeling good. Many of us would rather savor some of the fine
insights of someone like Emmet Fox than perform daily Step Ten
exercises throughout the day and engage in nightly inventories as
prescribed in the Twelve Steps.
We think that we have the AA Program in our lives. And we don’t. And we lie about it to others.
We rubber-stamp our half-assed actions with “to the best of our abilities” and it isn’t.
And we are still crazy - still suffering from the slings and arrows
that life shoots at us, still have financial fears and worries and are
telling newcomers that, “This Program Works” when it is apparently that
for many of us it isn’t.
But
we have an inspection sticker on the car and a job and so we brag - as
if these have been fruit that matters of sobriety. To the newcomer without a sticker, or a car for that matter, this seems an improvement
over his own lot - and for a spell we are attractive - until the next
first drink hits that newcomer like a freight train hits a stalled car
on the track.
Then we tell him, “You must not have really wanted sobriety” or to “Double up on your meetings.”
We are full of shit!
And so we figure it must be some lifelong, never quite get there, hardly noticeable but it must be so experience. Let's go with spiritual experiences of the educational variety - yeah, that’s the ticket. And
then we continue to struggle and fight through life. If we are real
alcoholics we will probably relapse and come back - and relapse and
come back over and over. If we are not real alcoholics we might stay
dry and crazy and figure we must be recoverING because we have been attending all these dammed meetings and haven’t
had a drink - even though it has been on our own willpower that this is
so.
We are nuts. We are dishonest. And we are killing people.
It is no wonder that some people leave AA feeling like it has been a CULT experience. It has been!
We
have allowed what probably began as a small clutch of non-alcoholic,
hard drinking, problem drinkers evolve into a glut of alternative
solutions masquerading as AA and it is now so top heavy that it has
weighed down the entire fellowship to the point were interlopers and
generations of non-AA thought has dragged the Fellowship into a
throw-back of its former self. We are made out to be a laughing stock.
If only we would do what real alcoholics have to do in order to recover- if we wouldn’t
change the words of the Big Book and excuse it off as “semantics” as if
“semantics” is a good reason n excuse to re-write the directions to fit
middle-of-the-road solutions that are more agreeable to Addictions Counselors
and the treatment center 'for profit' philosophies - their apodictic tone in direct conflict with AA's Big Book experience. Then we might see some of the Step Ten promises come true.
They have come true and for that I am truly grateful that these 12 promises and of course the 9th step amends promises have become operative in my life. And you thought "The Promises" read in your last meeting where only ones. HA!
STEP TEN PROMISES
- And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone - even alcohol.
- For by this time sanity will have returned.
- We will seldom be interested in liquor.
- If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame.
- We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically.
- We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it.
- We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation.
- We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality - safe and protected.
- We have not even sworn off.
- Instead, the problem has been removed.
- It does not exist for us.
- We are neither cocky nor are we afraid.
Not
too shabby, huh? This is my experience and these are all delivered
every single day, when I maintain my spiritual fitness through the
daily 10th step practices prescribed by the first one hundred alcoholics.
So what do you want to do? Do you want and read and quote Emmett Fox - or do you want to recover from alcoholism and show others how to do the same?
Peace,
Danny S
7 comments
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Nothing grows until it is first born. I am sure you know what I mean. Thanks for commenting!! DJS
"Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail. This is our twelfth suggestion: Carry this message to other alcoholics! You can help when no one else can."
You don't to be a "thumper" to be a 'practitioner', right? Maybe just something to consider. Like I said, taking "YOUR" inventory is what I do best. :) DJS
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About This Blog
A welcoming place for anyone affected by drugs and/or alcohol to offer their comments and questions.
For more information visit the AA site.
Here's a simple 12 question test to see if you might benfit from AA. You can join the more than 2,000,000 who now call themselves members, people who once drank
to excess, but who finally acknowledged that they could not handle
alcohol, and now live a new way of life without it.
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At my sobriety now I try to live the 12 steps as outlined in the Big Book with the help of God and a Sponsor. However, I do think that the "only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking" and some people get it while others never will. No one needs to judge someone else's quality of sobriety - Only your own. TY for pointing out that I need to watch for settling and "resting on my laurels".Ally