A Summer in Time

Chapter XV: "How Do You Mend a Broken Heart?"

A SUMMER IN TIME by Norman H. Goroshnik
CHAPTER XV: ACROSS THE MILES - "How Do You Mend a Broken Heart?"

Paul took the news about you being in the hospital very seriously.  He almost felt responsible for you.  He immediately got on the telephone to Boston.  It took a while until they connected him to your bedside.

"Blair, this is Paul.  How are you?"

"Paul, how did you hear about me?" 

"Your sister called David and then he called me."

You were surprised.  "I am feeling better," you said.  "They want me to stay for a few days and make sure I am all right before they release me.  It is so nice of you to call."

Paul listened as you talked about your hospital stay.  It was a shame he lived in Brooklyn.  If you had wanted or encouraged him to come, he would have been there in no time flat.

You began to tell him about your job.  "I hope I can get back to work in a few days," you said.

"My job is fine.  I have a beautiful place to live and I do like my work.  How are you, Paul?" you asked.

"I am fine," Paul replied, trying to make conversation.  "Are you going to be all right, Blair?"

"I suppose so; I don't know what brought this all on,"  you answered.

"Blair, I feel bad that I can't be there for you.   But I better let you rest.  You will be alright once they get you straight away."

"Thanks, Paul,  I am so glad you called."

"I will keep in touch," Paul said.  "Thank Sheila for calling David.  That was very nice of her."

Paul ran right out to find a flower shop. He placed an order to be sent to Blair at the Hospital. On the card he wrote, "Get well soon.  Then come share your life with me!"

He called you the next day.  You sounded better and you were able to talk a little longer.  You told Paul you were to be released at the end of the week.

For Paul, his deep-seated devotion to you was not without consequence.  He worked hard at trying to keep the relationship alive, but it never matured.

He tried very hard to not relive all his past feelings, but he could not erase you from his mind.  You were there to stay.   At times, Paul found it difficult to concentrate on his work and sometimes he wasn't able to sleep through the night.  When he turned down invitations to go out with friends, they knew Paul was not himself.

Paul wrote that he would very much like to come up to Boston to see you the next Saturday. There was a train arriving in Boston at 11:00 o'clock.  He asked that you call to confirm the meeting if you were free.

You had Saturday off and had no objections to Paul's coming to see you.  There were no special plans and it would be nice to see Paul.  

Instead of waiting for your call, Paul phoned you Friday night.

"Blair, this is Paul.  I am leaving in the morning, if it is alright with you."

"Yes, Paul, I got your letter.  It's fine if you come," Blair said.  "Are you sure you want to come?" you asked, just to be polite.

"I need to see you, I miss you very much!" Paul said.

"I will meet you at the train station," Blair said. "Did you get a room for the night?"

"Yes, I  reserved a room at the Sheraton.  How are you feeling Blair?"

"I am fine now and I am looking forward to seeing you, Paul.  What shall we do when you are here?"

"I just want to be with you Blair.  The weather is supposed to be perfect.  This will mean a lot to me,"  Paul added.

"Then I will see you tomorrow," you answered, ending the call.

 ______________________

Paul always moved quickly when he had somewhere to go.  Leaving his car at home, he took  the subway to Manhattan.

It was Saturday morning  and he walked past the pool room that was as large as a supermarket.

Whenever something important happened in his life, it took him past this pool room.  Except for when he left for the Army.  That took him in a different direction.  He prided himself on his self-discipline that over the years, kept him strong and from becoming a pool room bum.   

It took an hour to get to Grand Central Station by subway.  Once on the train to Boston, he was able to relax a little.  But Paul was not as comfortable as he would like to be, not knowing that what lay ahead could change his life.

All he had for breakfast was his usual bagel & cream cheese and coffee, which was not enough to sustain him for the trip to Boston.  yet, he could not think of food.

Leaving New York City, the train rolled out of the terminal heading north, into the morning, passing through city streets on elevated tracks.

Once out of the city, Paul sat by the window looking out on the countryside.

Paul thought over what he had to offer you.  He was ready to devote his entire life to you, his love.  Ready to work hard to care for you and make you happy.

The train moved through Westchester, New York into Connecticut and on to  Rhode Island.  It was a lonely trip and as the train dragged on, the smell of exhaust seeped into the coach, making it uncomfortable.    

Finally after a lengthy trip, the train arrived in Boston.  Paul had never been to Boston.

All the passengers stood to retrieve their luggage and waited for the train to come to a complete stop.  Paul worked his way past the people in the aisle, inching his way onto the platform to the train gate.  His mouth was dry by now and he needed something to eat and drink.

It was a great relief to find you waiting for him.

"Hello, Blair, I made it, " he greeted you with a smile.

"Hello, Paul," you answered, letting him hold you close.

Paul was happy despite not knowing what waited for him in Boston.

"Blair, I have to check into my hotel, then we must find someplace to eat.  I'm starving!  Did you have your breakfast yet? Are you hungry?"

"I am all right Paul.  I had my raisin toast and milk this morning. My doctor said I should cut out coffee for a while," you answered in a weak tone.

"Have something to eat with me Blair, I don't want you just watching me eat."

Paul checked into his hotel and placed his old Army bag on the bed then closed the door of his room behind him.  He found a restaurant down the street and once again found himself enjoying being with  you.

Outside the restaurant, you walked together and it felt so right.  Paul always experienced  mixed emotions every time you were together.  You did not know why Paul had to come all the way to Boston to see you.

"I will show you where I live Paul, you will like it," Blair said.

You arrived in front of a handsome Boston townhouse.  A huge chandelier, probably more than a century old, bathed the hallway in light.  In the living room, French windows spaced three across looked out over the street.

The heavy carpeting on the stairs muffled footsteps.   The wood banisters gleamed with heavy polish.  All the furniture was from another day, antiques displayed everywhere.  Sherlock Holmes could have lived here, it was almost a replica of his London home.  The only thing missing were horse-drawn carriages passing on the streets below.

Your upstairs room had a fireplace.  There was a dresser and a modern day studio couch, which opened into a bed.  The bathroom was down the hallway.

Paul imagined some wealthy Sea Captain or merchant had owned this house way back when!  The place was beautiful from stem to stern.

You curled up on the studio couch almost in a fetal position and looked helplessly at Paul who was sitting in a Queen Anne chair.  You talked most of the afternoon way then it was time for a break.  You led the way out and to a place close by for a bite to eat.

When returning to Blair's apartment, Paul noticed all the young students that filled the streets from the near by colleges.

On the train, he had rehearsed what he felt he had to say to you.  That was why he came to Boston in the first place.  You talked for hours pausing only to get drinks for each other.

Then out of the blue, like a bolt of lightning, Paul realized something had changed.  He placed his hand over his mouth.  For the first time, Paul saw you in an entirely new light.  He stared hard at your transformation into someone he did not know or recognize.  Perhaps this is what his friend David saw in you.  Why David warned Paul those years ago on Cape Cod. Warned Paul that you were not the one for him.

You were overcome with fear, that is what it was!  Fear of marriage, perhaps fear of having children or not having enough money.  All the responsibilities of married life.

Paul believe that it was his fault that he did not have enough to offer to a marriage. Or that your parents felt Paul would not be able to support you.

Instinct told Paul to walk over to you and place his hand on your shoulder.  In the silent room, he lifted you from the couch and held you near.

Paul was filled with great compassion and the desire to protect you while at the same time feeling the love he just lost.  He was speechless, but words would not have changed a thing anyway.  All he had now were his memories.

"Blair, I should let you get some sleep.  I will see you in the morning.   We can have breakfast together than walk over to the train station.  I am not anxious to leave, I like it here,"  Paul added.

"I am a little tired," you confessed, appearing somewhat helpless.  He kissed you for the last time, the lips he had once wanted to kiss forever.  Paul tried desperately not to show any change in his expression even though he was heartbroken.

Confusion entered the beautiful room.  Did you sense you were losing your best friend? And the man who loved you so?  Some how, some way, you had to know then, that you were losing Paul. 

Paul returned in the morning to take you to breakfast.  He acted as normal as possible.  He had been devoted to you for four years, waiting for you.

After breakfast, you walked through the crowded Boston streets towards the train station.  The train station gate in view, Paul was heart-sick knowing he had to let go.

"We have to say good bye now, Blair.  I will always love you.  You have become so much a part of who I am and you will always be  in my life," Paul's voice cracked.

"Good-bye, Paul," you said, never telling Paul you loved him.

"Take care of yourself, Blair.  If you need me for anything, I'm just one phone call away." 

Paul knew then, that he could never love another women the way he loved Blair, never.

As he returned home, Paul knew he would always love you.  And yet, it was not meant for you two to be together.

 ______________________

In January, 1958, more than a year after Boston, Blair's sister Sheila received a letter from Paul's friend David.  He wrote her that Paul had moved to California to be near his parents and that Paul was going to marry a wonderful girl he met there.

A heavy winter wind rattled the window in Blair's Boston apartment.  The news on the radio said it had come in from the sea, crossing over Cape Cod, heading Northwest.  It was as if the cold wind was an omen of love lost.

 THE END
 ___________________ 

Author's note: Once again I want to thank all my readers and to the staff of CapeCodToday.  Special thanks to Maggie and Walter who made this all possible by believing in me.

I want to dedicate this story to Elene Spanier--someone who continues to have  a special place in my life.  -    NORMAN HAROLD GOROSHNIK

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