Fish Out of Water

I agree Peter. It shouldn't be brushed aside at all because the mother was upset- that mom IS her child's voice. She is entirely within her rights to get upset and get the police involved. period.
Thank you for writing about this, keep on it please- it IS important. My heart breaks for her that this happened at all with her child.

"No way will I allow anything like this to transpire with my SPED daughter."

Good luck, murrbuck. I earnestly hope it never happens with your daughter, or anyone else's. As I've said to the Times and the Enterprise when they called, it appeared to be an isolated incident, and I hope it doesn't happen again -- but I'm very dissatisfied with how it's being brushed aside as "much ado about nothing."

"Having trouble understanding why a monitor ... would discipline a child outside the bounds of the BIP agreement."

So does the mother, Cantankerous. Which is precisely why she brought the videotape to the attention of the police to begin with, and precisely why I'm saying that the investigation needs to continue rather than be swept under the rug.

"I am also of the belief that no one should be spit on in the course of doing an honest day's work."

By an able-bodied person in full control of their senses, sure. But as we've established, this is a severely disabled child -- a child who's not doing this out of spite, but who's doing it because she has no other effective way to communicate.

That's not going to stop an adult in control of their senses from responding irrationally to what they perceive as a provocation, either.

People who are hired for these special needs jobs may on occasion have to deal with children who sometimes exert unacceptable behavior.. that's why the BIP should be in place. They know that sometimes this may occur with these children and they cannot for even one second lose themselves to their own emotions during any incident that is hard to deal with. They cannot take it upon their own emotion to punish, or show aggravation towards any of these children in any way. They go into this job knowing that sometimes it's hard. No way will I allow anything like this to transpire with my SPED daughter. NO way. Some people may not know, but the Autistic child doesn't know that she was being disrespectful or whatever by spitting, she didn't know that spitting isn't appropriate behavior- and it doesn't matter how many times you tell her. But I bet my last dollar that monitor and bus driver knew that they themselves were disrespecting the child by allowing their personal irritation and aggravation to control how they dealt with her. Shame on them. Hard job?? NO SH*T!

Having trouble understanding why a monitor - who knows the video camera is pointed RIGHT AT her or him - would discipline a child outside the bounds of the BIP agreement.

I am also of the belief that no one should be spit on in the course of doing an honest day's work - especially at a bus monitor's modest rate of pay.

Couldn't agree more, Capeconservative. If the Collaborative had simply taken the action the mother requested -- finding a different bus, which they ultimately *did,* after it went public -- this never would have come to the fore. It's pennywise, pound foolish.

We spend way too much time and money on nonsense like this.

First you've got some idiot talking about ministers and their 15 year old wives and how he would punish the girl if it was his daughter, on the other blog, now you've got another ignorant idiot blaming it all on the parents. No wonder these things happen. Why don't fathers of the school coach? Having a 22 year old that is mature enough to maintain boundaries is probably rare, but someone should have spoken out sooner. It sounds like maybe time to clean house on the school administrators. I know girls grow up fast nowadays having raised one, but this could happen to anyones daughter. Being a coach holds a professional responsibility. He crossed the line.

I don't think what the coach did was right but I always wonder where are the parents?

Why are kids spending so much alone time with coaches? I guess my 36 years have made me naive but I never spent alone time with a coach when I played softball, basketball, or volleyball. My parents monitored everything I did the same way I monitor everything that my child does! Haven't parents caught on to software that tracks their child's cell phones, instant messages, and emails?

A generation of kids whose babysitters have been xbox and cable tv? Shouldn't be much of a surprise that the parents don't care. Not their kid so not their problem most likely. Plus 'oral sex' is barely headline material in a society numbed to teacher sex scandals.

Even if the girl was a total Lolita, Weixler should have known better. Common sense applies: "Picture her body with the face of your arresting officer."

Anyway, that's entirely beside the point of this blog, which is to excoriate Mashpee parents for not being more involved.

not to play devil's advocate, but the way the 12-14 year old demographic acts nowadays is downright scary and hardly ever touched upon. these kids are already into sex and drugs by the time they're out of 6th grade! young teacher's aids are a recipe for disaster.

Let's all ignore the elephant in the room...
I think 13-to-14-year-old children trust school personnel in positions of authority, in much the same way as earlier generations would have trusted a medical professional, never considering a second opinion.
I believe parents need to teach children to notify an adult immediately if something inappropriate is happening. But I also believe that an adult in a position of power, such as a paraprofessional or coach, should never be left alone with a child. Parents cannot be expected to monitor their children during school hours - its neither possible nor practical. Yet after-school programs sanctioned by the school should have specific guidelines so that an authority figure, such as a coach, is never left *alone* with a child.

Im negotiating with Rockstar to make a Ted Kennedy game.

There's a charming degree of cultural distance, and yet as monpo says, they present American-kid attitude in a very positive light. I had Anime Hair before Cap'n Harlock had it.

That stuff always drove me crazy, and the Japanese are among my favorite foreigners.

Any Asian kid in those shows- particularly Pokemon- looked like their eyes had been sewn shut. White kids, by contrast, had these big pie-plate eyes that you could land a copter on. I don't recall ever seeing an anime black kid, but I bet it's funny.

Also... whenever I try to find movies on YouTube, I have to sort through about 5000000 anime movies.

That's about the extent of my ability to bitch about those, though. I'm pretty sure there's a line between fans of anime and fans of the Bugs/Batman school, and I aged past it some time ago.

Am I right in saying that if this had happened in the 70's, 80's or early 90's, it would have been totally and completely ignored and unnoticed? In fact, the only one at risk would have been the goody-two-shoes who reported the writing to the principal in the first place.

Hate algebra? Pissed off at your teacher? Write something mildly threatening on the wall and get your friend to report it. It's fun for a whole day.

It's a difficult situation. By evacuating the school you're giving positive reinforcement to the perp's behavior.

By not evacuating, you run the risk of casualties in the extreeeeemely remote possibility that it's a serious threat, or the nearly 100% certainty that modern parents will sue you or get your fired as the principal.

There are high school kids--put the least amount of pressure on the usual suspects and most will sing like a canary. They must be breaking some sort of federal law.

"What's the problem with entering school like entering court?"

Most obviously because it's not going to do a damn thing to stop something like this from happening.

Raise taxes. The k-9 can't do all the work.

And get Aaron out of office, and into therapy.

It takes about 15-20 seconds to properly wand a student.... you can get away with it if your program had 25 kids coming in 4 at a time, like mine did. There's probably 300 showing up 40 at a time in Mashpee.

What's the problem with entering school like entering court? You take off the bling, it goes through the detectors,...oh, right, taxes.

i am also a student at mhs. i agree that this is stupid and a waste of time but it needs to stop. it has gotten to the point that i dont feel safe going to school. i am tired of having to miss half the school day because they need to sniff out the classrooms and lockers. this has happened 3 years in a row now. its also extremely nerve racking when your sitting in first period math and the loudpseakers tell you to leave the building immediately. i fully agree with the desicion to send us home from school however. i wouldnt want to be sitting in the school when there is a possibility of a bomb there. and too parents, i know it may be an inconvienience but think about if they hadn't let us out and there really was a bomb. i think any normal parent would have chosen the inconvienience over innocent lives lost.

Neither does Elton John, and look what he does with wigs.

sorry, peter, forgot you have no hair.

monp:

Chelsea 2016! She just needs some time in the Senate, first. I wouldn't be the only one to get seriously into politics if it were Chelsea vs. Jeb for all the marbles.

It takes a lot of time, money and determination to fashion a Kevlar dress that was both stylish and appropriate for teaching in a public school after Columbine.

Fortunately... I had all three.

Fashion something for Cohen?

And for me?

It might take the wand.

I hate politics.

Katie's hairdo is kinda cool. But we did that rebellious thing in the 80s.

The mullet.

When I taught in Charlestown, we used to wand every kid... every time they entered the building. I still got sliced once.

mishy, read walletpop or do your homework. children have no business with cell phones or lack of parental controls on the internet.

i go to mashpee high school and i was at school today and this is no joke. most of the students were scared and had no idea what was going on. however last week we had the school will blow up february 15th on the wall. today we had nasty letter written to the school basically saying they were going to blow the whole school up. this is ridiculous and its ruining it for the kids who actually care about there education and want to go to college. someone needs to do something about this. pretty soon its gonna come down to metal detectors and bag searches in the mornings. As a student i love mashpee and i dont know why someone would want to do this. were just getting more days added on to the end and less days of summer. so people need to start telling the truth and what they no so we can get this over with and stop ruining it for people who care.

It takes a lot of time, money and determination to fashion a Kevlar dress that was both stylish and appropriate for teaching in a public school after Columbine.

Fortunately... I had all three.

When kids do this, other kids know about it.

When I taught school, three bomb threats were phoned in regarding my science building in a two-week period. Each time we had to step outside while the fire department searched the building and pronounced it clear.

After the third time I told my Physics class it was getting tiresome and asked if they knew who was doing it. A couple of students nodded "Yes."

I told them to get ahold of this jerk tonight and tell him if it happens again I am personally going to deal with him and THEN call the cops. It never happened again.

My point is that other students know who it is. Kids like to brag and talk tough, and they spill the beans--on themselves.

We don't need fancy security and millions of dollars to stop this. We just need to convince the good kids to turn the dumb ass in.

I loved all my students... but if there were a bomb in the school, I'd be jumping out the window and running to my car. Eff them.

Idiots should not be able to evacuate a high school. Somebody with guts should answer phoned in mischief and then forget to tell anyone.

Peter,
I noticed you are interested in special education related matters. Have you heard of the Massachusetts Special Education Activist group SPEDWatch? If not, check out: www.spedwatch.org.
Regards,
David

Also, I'm enjoying the gentle slices of life in this blog immensely; "Fish Out of Water" one of the best on this site. Keep up the good work!

I'm glad maverick left their gracious remarks, it takes the sting out of the earlier, mean-spirited comments.

Besides, if petercohen's family is anything like mine, his wife's chronic lateness is accepted with good grace by her friends and relatives as just one of an otherwise good person's minor quirks.

After all, no one's perfect.

petercohen...thanks for sharing.

" My wife and I have a great relationship. It requires communication, understanding and sacrifice. "

That's what life is all about. You couldn't have said it any better.

My best to you and family.

Yeah, same with us, Buzz. Fortunately, we're secure enough in our relationship that we don't consider publicly talking about our family's disabilities to be "airing dirty laundry."

My wife and I have a great relationship. It requires communication, understanding and sacrifice. If I started airing my dirty laundry on a public web site, it would be the beginning of the end of our wonderful relationship not to mention the humiliation our children would no doubt experience.

So we can be friends with judgmental jerks like you? Naw, I'd rather be late.

What consequences has your wife suffered due to her unwillingness to stick to a schedule?

None, because you are her enabling co-dependent. Was she a "late" person when you married her? Tell the truth. There are worst qualities to have in a wife, that's for sure, but your continuing to enable her just makes a lot more work for yourself over the course of a lifetime.

I have gradually cut out all the chronically late people in my life, I am talking about my social life.

Late people think that their lateness is a harmless by-product of their spontaneous charm, and that their sparkling personality makes up for their rude inconsiderateness.

I have never found this to be the case. The most fun friends I have are on-time people who never incovenience others. The chronically late people are nice enough, but well, they're just always late, so gradually I have just stopped including them in plans. The same thing will happen to you if you allow it.

Be a man and put your foot down--what's she going to do, leave you?