My wild & precious life

Loved the Glamor Shot but what's next? Throw us a bone.

Hello Jessica,

Being a former Provincetown resident I found your Blog and enjoyed reading what you had to say. The winter in Ptown was quite an experience in solitude for me! Since I now work in San Diego and travel for business frequently I do not get to spend much time there anymore. I can tell you that whenever I drive over the hill or fly in and see view of Provincetown it always brings a smile to my face.

Crowne Point is a great place and relaxing in the mineral bath at the Shui Spa is always a favorite activity of mine.

Your words tell me that you are a good soul and I hope you find love and happiness on the Cape.

Why is crusaders life so rotten? Don't know. (and please don't respond with an answer anyone)And bitter too? What I do know is Ms. Jessica will be fine. She is in a community where everybody knows and looks out for everybody else, especially in the winter. She works in a very nice place and I am sure they have a number of yearround clients/friends that all know each other. And from what she looks like according to her picture in here, she probably won't be too long alone. Enjoy the cape for what it is. It gets hectic, especially Ptown in the summer but just relax and observe and enjoy all that is around you. I actually find it great in the winter on the lower cape. It's quiet and all ours to enjoy.

For the past few days, I have read the comments for this blog and cannot believe how negative some writers are. Jessica, the Cape will be whatever you make of it. But I think you already know that.
I am also in my early 50’s, single and straight. I have lived on the Cape for over 20 years. Although I am always a paycheck away from disaster, I am rich with friends. Finding them is easy with a smile, a friendly hello, and a positive attitude. Keeping up with the Joneses has never been an issue for me. I feel fortunate to have what I do.
The Cape has SO much to do, just start by looking at the calendar of events right on this site. Lots of things are free. Good people are all around you. You will find them.

I meant to say that even though there are negatives everywhere, there are far more positives if you make that choice.

Wow, I am a total outsider but still feel a connection with the Cape since I have vacationed there for 16 years every September. I am stunned at the unnecessary comments made on behalf of Jessica's wonderful essay about her move to P'town and quest for happiness. Jessica, hang in there. I think a person can make a choice about the kind of attitude they will have about life. I choose to try and be happy and any spot in the world is not perfect. So, you can start fresh and make it perfect "for you". Good luck and Happy New Year!

Don't ever say you haven't been warned, Jessica. Just don't date any black trashmen or bad cops. One woman had to find out the hard way.

Hope your real estate and businesses maintain their values. Looks like the Cape is in for another shot in the pants.

Soon everyone will learn just what is going on down there with a new trial waiting in the wings.

It's nice to remain naive and stubborn about a place. I was that too, until I had to find out the hard way. Thank God I had a place to come home to.

Ptown fires? At 13....and the chief can't seem to get the paperwork completed for the investigation or provide accurate address/names of owners...just more mishaps like the videotape from Walmart parking lot with the 72 year old tire slasher. Keep your misfits and criminals. I'd take the city anyday. At least we have real people in the city, who help out one another. Keep your snobs and pretend you have it better than the rest of us. Some of us know the sad truth. And hopefully the new AG will step up and take action. Someone is trying to drive out the gays...no surprise.

Try Main Street, Hyannis, on any summer Saturday night with your family and friends.

Victory Chapel cares!

Now that's universal love!

Sorry, my closets are organized in a sort of feng shui way.

sorry for the bad grammar.

Jessica,

Your absolutely correct. However, crusade,r as I mentioned, failed with her attempt to live on the Cape and has done nothing but spread lies and ridiculous comments about the good people of Cape Cod since she left. I think people are pretty tired of her BS and it's time for her to go away.

I hope you find happiness and good will on the Cape like me and my family has.

Have a happy and prosperous New Year.

crusader,

"Buzz has it easy because his wife is a local, that's his in."
Again, that's the type of silly comments you make that prove your ignorance. My wife grew up on the lower Cape, we've lived on the upper Cape for 20 + years. No one that we meet has any idea she grew up on the Cape. She has little if any contact with those she grew up with. But yet, she has many friends a new growing business and loves her life on the Cape. So your point is?

I wasn't talking about money, safety, politics, or even gay issues, I was talking about a personal (and I believe universal) experience of loneliness and the yearning to love and be loved and to feel a part of something bigger.

Please, I appreciate all relevant comments, but I really prefer if you take your flaming and slamming somewhere else.

Let's try and make this blog a place where we can all get real in 2008, I need your help. If you feel a knee-jerk reaction to what I say, please don't start clacking away at the keys without thinking first. I am requesting that you reserve your comments to be about your own feelings ad experience. This doesn't mean that you say the same things as before, but with the preface of "I feel that..."!!, tell me about your loneliness, your fears, your challenges, your joys, your aha!s, your revelations and realizations. I really want to hear them.

It's an exercise in personal growth. Let's do it together. Thanks!

Jessica

wow, I thought I was writing about me, but I seemed to have let loose torrent of ill will!

Forgive me if I am new to blogging in Cape Cod, when I had my organizing blog, the comments I got were (for the most part) on topic. That enriched the discussion and we were able to go deep.

I love lively debate, don't need everyone to agree with me or even like what I say, but can we please keep our more intense emotional projections in check and stay with the topic at hand?

...before calling the cops, we (neighbors) all spoke politely to his parents who seemed to either not care, or have some mental issues of their own. They lied to the cops, said the child was a handful, would be off to daycare, but he wasn't...he continued to destroy our plants, scream in the road at 7am, terrorize the neighbor with the frog pond filled it with dirt, stones & debris. Each time the owner repaired it, the toddler would come back to destroy it once again. The previous owner hand picked this new owner because he sold him an overpriced home & the realtor who sunk $200k into his house believing the market would continue to rise is now stuck living next to an eyesore junkyard with tires, lawn furniture, tools littering the front & back yard, plus the unruly toddler destroying his nice well kept yard. And the realtor with stars in his eyes of cashing in someday? How does he deal with the neighbor from hell? It was bad enough he found an attic full of black mold costing him 50k because the previous owner was a dishonest local, now he's stuck with hillbillies from hell.

Watch out for predators who look for deep pockets that will carry their $0 balance bank accts. Don't buy anything you don't need & always get more than one estimate from service personnel. I worked for a local builder & saw first hand how those with deep pockets get ripped off. That's the main reason I couldn't work there. It's one thing to seek triple profits--bad enough, but when the job isn't even done right! an outrage...don't expect the law to help, they're all in the same bed together lawyers, builders, etc. I had a disturbance in my neighborhood (as did other neighbors) & finally had to call local police, who asked "are you a second homeowner?" I was floored. What did that matter? I was, but what if I wasn't? Did that mean this officer would not take my complaint? Other neighbors complained too, but this problem still exists. Child neglect. A 3yr.old running in the road w/only a diaper at 8pm, in woods, w/coyotes for an entire year, running in our homes & yard, peeking in windows, never watched, unkept, malnutrition, law does nothing. We feared he would be run down by a car.

Jessica,

Words of wisdom, by Margot, bittersweet. We are smart strong willed women who lived in the real world (cape cod is not) so we don't take the crap doled out by snobs & tyrannts who reign on the island. I've always worked in Boston area, at jobs many years--one hospital/2 colleges. Thousands apply, not many get in. I feel fortunate to have a job here, especially now during uncertain times. I don't begrudge anyone who wishes to live on the Cape, but I merely point out it's many challenges from other stable areas with year round residents who are dedicated to preserving their communities. Many locals have moved away from the Cape because greed in housing/developing & crime has taken its toll. Those who remain are afraid they will have to move away if tourism dries up. When businesses close down, so does the economy. I thought the place welcomed newcomers. It doesn't. Buzz has it easy because his wife is a local, that's his in. Others have money to pave the way. I do hope you find the happiness I didn't. I had great expectations & only found disappointment, unfriendly people.

Jessica,
I envy you. I live in Maryland, but would love to live in Cape Cod. Yes, there is crime. It is everywhere. I think there is truth to all the above comments. Even though I don't live there, I am very familiar with the Cape. I have been there 3 times for vacation in summer, and once on my honeymoon- in January! I read this online paper daily. I know there is crime. I live near Baltimore. You want to see real crime... anyway, the Cape does have its problems, like everywhere else. Yes, it is different lifestyle. I think things are too expensive there. I think there are way too many traffic accidents. From what I read, Hyannis has lots of problems. I am naive, and I am not a nstive, but life is what you make of it, whether it is in a big city or a tiny town. I wish you luck and happiness. I think you have a good enough head on your shoulders to manage wherever you are. ANd to the rest of you, I do not think the people on CC are unfriendly. People give back to you what you give to them. I rarely experienced rudeness. Can't wait to return again. Happy New Year to my CC friends!

ability=inability

My problem is with crusader. If you've followed her bitching on this web site long enough, you'll find that she started complaining about the job market and "her" and her then boyfriends, ability to find meaningful employment. I know many people on and off Cape that have the same problem. It's not the location, it's mainly their attitude.

So crusader has turned her failure to make it on Cape Cod into a personal vendetta. She's like a little child, "if I can't have it, no one can". As a long time Cape Codder, I find her constant bitching about the Cape offensive.

As for you others....life is short. Don't like it, leave...be happy.

Tell it like it is Margot!
I came from the mid-west, and was shocked at the "coldness" here too.
The thing that gets me is the smugness of the people around here. The whole idea that, well, I'm fine...what's your problem?
It's quite stark here, the class division.
And unlike Boston, or Cambridge,where everyone seems to blend happily, you're right..the "have's" here really are snobs.(at least the ones I've been around)

Crusader is right...it's an island of cliques.

I think there's a little truth in everyone's contentions. There are people who live here that really like it. They are a certain kind of people and this place suits them. The ironic thing is that my husband's business has done very well and we are not "have-nots" but neither one of us really likes it here. Too late in life to start over elsewhere--he's established now and we have retirement to think about. We are both from western, New York--very friendly places and have never adjusted to the Cape's cold facade. Most of our friends moved here from elsewhere too, and we all feel the same way. I have a friend who is a single mother and this place has destroyed her. I have had to create my own job opportunties because there are few real jobs and making good friends is a ten-year proposition. We joined a small yacht club so the kids could sail and the people there are an incredible bunch of snobs. It's either snobs or losers in our neck of the woods. My main goal is to get my kids out of here so they don't fall into the "Cape Cod trap."

Hi Jessica,

you moved from Northampton, which is about 85% lesbian, to PTown, the only other town in MA where almost everyone is gay, trans, queer, questioning, lesbian, bisexual, transexual, omnisexual, alternasexual (alternating preferences), etc. Are you sure? Why would you move to Northampton, a town saturated with militant anti-male feminist lesbians to PTown, no description necesarry? If you are looking for a man, I would look elsewhere. If you want a REAL man, I would suggest moving to a Red State. Conservative men are much stronger, richer, realistic and less sissyish than liberal ones. Take a trip to a place like Westport,CT or even Colorado. Trust me, woman are happier with rich men who can take care of them. Don't listen to what anyone else says. You won't find any straight men like that in PTown. Most of PTown's straight men are imported from Jamaica and other countries to do back-breaking labor for pittances. They come for the summer, are treated like crap by their gay masters, then they ship them back home. Seriously, look elsewhere.

crusader,

You started your rants and lies about the Cape long before I mentioned Somerville. I've got nothing to admit. I travel all throughout Mass and NE and beyond. I know how special it is to come home to Cape Cod. My wife grew up here. Never, has she seen the crap that you claim goes on here.

You'll live your entire life blaming others for your misfortunes. Get over it, stop bitching and making excuses for yourself. You're so transparent and eveyone sees it.

Margot,

You are right about the Cape being "less friendly". I don't find it that way in the city and surrounding towns of Boston. Maybe in the outer suburbs where it's a clique breeding ground as well. The problem is there are just too many isolated groups that don't connect; the year-round community stays to themselves and transients don't develop roots. Second home owners, tourists, even some retired elderly/wealthy part-timers are snowbirds in winter--off to FL they go. At least on the mainland, you see more people getting involved who share common interests and goals for their community. On the Cape it's just too divided--each group with its own agenda. From what I hear, Ptown was a fun place years ago, when it was swarming with artists and writers, but not anymore. And that's the same for the rest of the Cape. Why do you think so many have sold out and left for Maine, Arizona and Florida? They all cashed out when their houses sold for 4-6 times what they paid. And who could blame them? Now the uncertainty of what's to come is making the rest who struggle to stay most uneasy.

Buzz,

Keep covering it up, like the rest who don't want the truth out. Hopefully, Jessica will see what Margot & I have & keep both eyes open & tights strings on her purse. The sign at the bridge should read, "Just bring your fat wallets, but don't expect to be invited to supper."

You are the one who is pathetic, Buzz. At least I'm not afraid to admit when I've been wrong about my own decision to move to a place. All I ask, is that you be open about what goes on there.

I mean afterall, if I have to always be subjected to slanderous remarks about my own hometown of Somerville, & your insults about the WinterHill Gang...then I think it's only fair that we say what is true of the Cape. When it comes to corruption, murder, assault with deadly weapons, neopitism, drug trafficking, prostitution, OUI's, it's all the same.

We also deal with those with more money who have pushed out the families & middle-lower class. But we learn to deal with it! Unlike most on the island that take it out on the newcomers who help their dwindling economy. Soon it will be an island of elite.

crusader,

You are pathetic. I've lived on the Cape for over 30 years. This is by far the best place I've ever lived. Wouldn't trade it for anything and all my many friends feel the same way.

Jessica,

Margot's got it right & most of what videopaul stated about the "have's"...I noticed a silent war going on between the "have's & have nots" when I arrived, too. Some people will do anything to remain on the island, money is scarce for those who struggle along, many don't want to leave because they can't fit in anywhere else. The Cape Cod culture is rare indeed. I'm just someone who should have listened to those wiser than I & wished I had someone warn me about the pitfalls. I'm sure there are some normal folks you can hang with, just stay away from places that harbor those "bad" elements, Margot mentioned. The beautiful landscape can be deceiving. Remembering an old local mason who said, "Cape has the highest alcohol, drug, divorce, infidelity, rates in the country for its size & population." You seem like a nice lady and I just hope you don't get sucked into that vortex like others have....I do wish you well. Having knowledge about a place can make all the difference.

I meant my wife in P-town as well. Oddly enough it was in the late 90s. We were married in 2005 then moved to Eastham. It was a minor miracle then, I think I may have been one of the last straight single men in that town. Good luck. Now on with part 2 please.

*There

The criminal defense attorneys on the Cape are bored out of their minds and would kill themselves for another murder.

But for some reason, we all know it's just not going to happen.

Bummer.

Where you see underbelly, most prefer not to look under that rock.

Jessica, the last I looked, and haven't since, craigslist has a lot of porn.

You sound like a really good, protective mom. Northampton is awesome. As is the Cape. Kismet is right.

crusader wins, hands down, for being the absolutely most grim and paranoid person on CC! Possibly anywhere!

You beat maverick.

But at least you make him laugh.

There's are bridges on CC, crusader. Cross them now and then.

Go to the local yacht club and befriend a wealthy elder gentleman.

Jessica, I too found straight love in Ptown, so don't despair. Try roaming the aisles of Stop 'n Shop looking helpless and confused (no easy task for one as lovely and bright as you, I know).
In my case the woman of my dreams swiped my sketchpad when I wasn't looking and I caught her.
48 years, 4 months, one week. 2 days and 4 hours later we're still madly in love and still on Cape cod.

I, too, am really looking forward to part two.
I had to move to the Cape because of my husband's job almost fifteen years ago, and I "got" this place right away. Wasn't fooled by it for a second. I think there are a lot of problems here that everyone ignores in favor of the "Pottery Barn life." I found raising children here very difficult--not just because of the school systems but also because of the bad "element." My kids who are in college now say that kids from the Cape feel "different" and "ackward" in college from their college mates having been so isolated here all their lives and having learned to live with a different set of rules and social norms than the rest of the world. Isolation might be great for retirees but I don't think it was so great for raising kids, or for a young family who would have much preferred a bit more culture, a bigger dose of reality in daily life--not to mention a community that is proactive about its problems. I don't find people in New England very friendly or easy to get to know, especially if you're moving from a friendly part of the US...

Jessica: I am new to this and just found craigs list, Christmas of 2007 left ptown after 35yrs to take care of my mean angry father, you is 92. I retired early to be with him because he is failing. For some reason I took to your story. I left a girlfriend of 12 yrs and her daughter you will finish h.s. this year. She wants to be with her girls and grandchildren and her and my father do not get along, nobody does. I am going to give him a chance because he is one of gods children and needs me. I have to start over and feel guilty for leaving. I loved ptown but it has so changed in almost an evil way. Change is good but it comes so fast in a place everyone wants to be at. I am looking forward to your story and will respond if I am doing this right. rdldodger

Jessica - The Crowne Point is a pretty posh place. I'm not going to add anything as I anxiously await part 2. I know two or three women living in P-town, professionals, who hope to find companionship there. Had dinner with them recently and I had to laugh, "You want to meet a nice man in P-town?" P-town has changed a lot since I came there in '93. I left and moved to beautiful Eastham in 2005. There's a lot of bitterness there where the only real business is real estate, which is not booming anymore. There are a lot of people hanging on by their fingernails and many are bitter about having to struggle with piles of money everywhere. There is no middle class there anymore. It's the haves and have mores. The real interesting carachters left in the late 90s.... Part 2 please.

P.S. appears I cant spell either. Sorry I just got all tongue tied. LOLOL

Ok, So I going to say what every other male reading is afraid to say, basically if we can superimpose her picture over WB's how many more readers could we get? I'm just glad I have a cute wife cause every time I would sign in I would have to go to confessional,,,, and Im not even Catholic, Oh well, welcome aboard and will enjoy reading what you have to offer. (Oh ya I am one of the Off Cape wanna be's)

Jessica,

Don't be fooled by those who have nothing better to do with their time than try to slander good people who learned about the subculture on the Cape no one wishes to speak about.

Just read about what happened to a woman who moved to outer cape from Manhattan in 98' expecting to find a quaint & simple lifestyle from the bright lights, fast paced world of the city. She got MURDERED & not by the black trashman, by someone who didn't like her. You see she didn't care what people thought of her & dated who she wanted. Just keep your sixth sense fine tuned & don't ever let your guard down. Find a honest, law abiding local who will teach you the ropes. It all looks grand on the outside, but there's a hidden world you'd rather not know exists. Read what happened to Christa Worthington & Linda Silva. If I'd known then what I know now..... Read of the latest hate crimes against the gays--read about what happened to Richard Hall & Barry Scott. As long as you don't ask questions, you will be fine. Just pretend you are a tourist 24/7 & you don't care.

Jessica,

Beware of certain bloggers who have attempted to live here and couldn't make a go of it. Their jealousy of those who live, work and love the Cape is obvious.

I also love Crigslist. However, is an "activity partner" like a "casual encounter"? Just kidding.

Jessica,

Take it from a girl who's moved there and moved back to the big city--keep your eyes open wide, don't share any personal information, especially how much money you have with anyone. There are predators lurking behind every sand dune, trust me. Just be on your guard and surround yourself with trustworthy people. I had to learn from the school of hard knocks on an island, who would've thought, not the big bad city.....and don't listen to those who disagree with me.they will rear their ugly heads now that I've tried to warn you....I have no reason to lie....have no reason to whatsoever....just beware...