Op-Ed
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The "real" story of that first Thanksgiving
The True Turkey's Tale

Now it can be told
By Walter Brooks, Scribe Errant & Writer in Whimsy
Most of you Cape Codders think you know the true story of Thanksgiving ... but you don't. You only know the sanitized, Plymouth version forced upon a gullible public by the Plymouth Area Chamber of Commerce in a failed attempt to enhance tourism at a time of year when no sensible tourist would venture north of the Mason-Dixon Line or Charleston, whichever comes first.

"This is the time of year the rich people come to The Cape."I
alone know the true tale because my wife's ancestor, Capt. Edward Bangs
who came over on the "Anne" which arrived a year after the "Mayflower",
was around for that first thanksgiving in the Fall of 1621 to tell the
true turkey tale.
Capt. Bangs told his grand children this tale, and they have passed it down through the centuries.
He said that after surviving their first year on these unkind shores, the Pilgrims, or "Saints" as they were then called, planned to serve roast beef or roast lamb for the "Harvest Home Dinner" as they actually called that first feast.
Beefeaters get the bird
After all, these hardy folks were originally from England where the Queen's guards or Yeomen Warders are called "Beefeaters." My wife's ancestor told the family that of course they all ate cow whenever they had a feast, and if they didn't have a cow, they ate a lamb despite little sister's tears for her pet.
The true story of that first holiday is quite simple, and more touching than the fairy tale they teach in school
The true story of that first holiday is quite simple, and more touching than the fairy tale they teach in school.
It all started with that famous Boston author Euell "Stalking the Wild Asparagus" Gibbon's original Plymouth ancestor Ebenezer Gibbon who owned a small meat market and Dunkin' Donut franchise in Manomet almost 400 years ago.
After that first horrible winter of 1620-21, the Pilgrims who survived harvested the crops they had planted that summer and made ready to slaughter a cow or at least a few sheep for the festival. But not all of the Pilgrims were successful farmers that first year, and a few had to buy their main course from Euell's great-great-great-great (3-more "greats") grandfather Ebenezer Gibbons who owned that local butcher shop.
Telling the True Turkey Tale
Late on the last Wednesday of November in 1621 one of the less fortunate Pilgrims came to Gibbon's shop to buy a slab of beef or a shank of lamb for his table. When he asked for either beast, Ebenezer Gibbons sadly told him that he had just sold the last hunk of prime rib to Capt. Miles Standish and the last lamb shank to Governor William Bradford. He said he had nothing left to sell him for his holiday feast.
The distressed customer begged Gibbons to check the larder again and see what possible entree might remain for next day's big dinner.
Gibbons came back with a scraggly wild fowl which a local Native American had recently caught in the woods.
Gibbons opined that the beast resembled a guinea hen known to roam in Turkey, and offered it to the customer as a substitute, naming the fowl "turkey" after that Mid East country.
He even refused to charge for such a mangy, fowl-tasting repast.
The grateful customer grabbed the bird, and as he left the shop called back to Euell, "Thanks Gibbon!"
Of course, over the next four centuries his shouted "Thanks Gibbon" got slurred into what we call that holiday today,
Thanks Giving!
By Walter "would you like to buy the Sagamore Bridge" Brooks
Time to make it work
By Christy Mihos
As a long time opponent of casino gaming, an issue that has been vetted for years, and now has passed the prevue of the Legislature and the Governor, the process is done. The hurtful insults aimed at the leadership of the House and Senate are unfounded.
This is particularly true for the Senate President, Therese Murray, a thoughtful and honest public servant. The governor introduced a gaming bill, the speaker introduced a gaming bill, and the Senate President managed the best deal for the commonwealth on an issue where 55-65% of the population supported the concept and when the construction jobs and permanent jobs are badly needed. To a great extent this recession is blue collar and these are blue collar jobs and we need these jobs because a good economy has jobs across the spectrum not just for biochemists.
In the early 1990s, as a state employee of the Big Dig, Murray would not go along to get along and was fired. When she re-emerged as a State Senator she focused on state policy issues ranging from welfare reform to economic development and the state, her district and this region have benefitted from her efforts. For me, character is tested when government tries to roll over you and places your family's welfare and your career in absolute jeopardy as happened to me when at the Turnpike Authority. When Scott Harsbarger, the former AG and a hypocritical critic of the legislature, had a chance to stop one of the biggest frauds in the state’s history, the Big Dig, he was AWOL.
Senate President Therese Murray is not in my party but she has earned my respect.
Marketing Failure
Marketing a school system will not reverse the financial drain that comes from losing students to other school districts because of school choice.
By Spyro Mitrokostas
The problem with this approach is that you always get less in return than you give up. Think about it. If a student chooses another school, it is for a better product. The students that choose to leave a district have correctly identify themselves as better students. Otherwise, why would they want to leave?
What then does a school get in return if it advertises?
Schools with a net outflow of students have a problem that advertising can not fix. Their product is deemed to be inferior. Superior consumers are leaving for a better product. To the degree they can get some other consumers to buy the product, those students are inferior to the students that left in the first place.
Do this for a couple of cycles and the process becomes self fulfilling. Test scores, the measure of the product, decline further and students continue to leave. It becomes harder and more expensive to attract new students, who eventually stop moving into the system all together.
It's better to do nothing.
The only way to address the problem is by fixing the product. Create a better product that the consumers; students and their parents want. Then students will not only not leave, but the school might even experience some net gains in the future.
This is exactly what the Tech schools did. It took them a generation to do it, but creating a curriculum that good students wanted, turned them into the dynamos that students have to compete to get into today.
This is what the Charter schools promise. They concentrate on curriculums, not Gymnacafetoriums. Parents want their kids there for the end result; test scores. With an aptly called lottery to get in, it's like winning the lottery if they do.
So put the marketing plans away. Stop looking at students as vouchers. Hire a superintendent, principals and teachers who are more interested in teaching than retiring. Compete for the students who will want to stay put, not the ones who will come with cash.
Are Turbines Dumb ?
The "Wind Wise" group which favors fossil fuel
A fine sounding but flagrantly misleading name
By Richard Bartlett.
A small group of clean energy opponents call themselves Wind Wise Cape Cod, a fine sounding but flagrantly misleading appellation. Their goal is to support fossil fuel generation with all its detrimental environmental consequences. Their published mistaken information requires a refutation.
The Cape Cod Commission and many local politicians have spent 10 years and many taxpayers' dollars with a similar mindset. But the citizens of the Cape and the islands overwhelmingly want the benefits to health, the economy, the environment, and hope for a future planet that is hospitable to humans and all creatures.
No reputable medical organization has recognized "turbine syndrome" as a bona fide affliction.
The nay-sayers make much of a few people claiming their maladies are due to wind turbine noise. No reputable medical organization has recognized "turbine syndrome" as a bona fide affliction. Turbines very close to schools haven't caused any students to have headaches.
A recently published chart of decibel levels equated the sounds of turbines to two people whispering. For comparison, think of traffic noise on your street or aircraft overhead. Would these "wise" folks be in favor of banning cars and planes? With this suspect justification one politician (who has always been pro-fossil) wants to ban turbines within 3,000 feet of any residence. Is there such a site anywhere on our highly developed paradise?
They bring up long-ago refuted arguments about danger to wildlife. If turbines threatened the animal kingdom more than fossils surely the Audubon Society would side with this group, but the fact is they are supporters of wind.
There are even folks who still believe the earth is flat.
The "wise" group favors gas. In their lexicon wind is always called "industrial", but they don't refer to gas that way. The un-natural gas industry can't produce enough of their product without "fracking". That means fracturing layers of underground rock with chemicals that poison aquifers, endangering drinking water for thousands. And we know that "clean coal" only exists in advertising copy. Perhaps they aren't really wise after all.
Everyone has a right to their opinions, whether it conforms to reality or not. There are even folks who still believe the earth is flat. There are people who, in spite of all scientific evidence, believe the world is only 6,000 years old. But we don't have to put any credence in their mythology.
Richard C. Bartlett
Cotuit
Cheech & Chong as Sandwich HS commencement speakers?
Reefer Madness at Sandwich "High" School?
"Wasted Days and Wasted Knights"
By News of the Cape's satirist Cardinal Borgia

Cardinal Borgia is the non de blog of a Cape retired college level English teacher.
Holy Father flipped his mitre this morning when we read the Cape Cod Times story about Tuesday morning's drug sweep at Sandwich High School. According to the Times story the police arrived with drug dogs to sweep the school building and parking lot. Apparently drugs were found in several student vehicles.
Has a plague of "Reefer Madness" been visited upon Sandwich High School? Has God brought down a plague of Weed upon the school because of the teachers' union whining over contract negotiations?
We at the Badican think not! Rather, we wonder if the police have unwittingly discovered the secret of Sandwich High School's high achievement on MCAS and in attaining status as one of the 500 best high schools in the United States.
Yes! Could the kids have been under the influence of marijuana when they took the MCAS? Might they have smoked up before sitting down to take the tests? Those of us who grew up in the 50's and 60's know all too well the mind-altering effects of cannabis. Is this the true secret of success at Sandwich High School?
If it turns out there is a problem with "hard" drugs at Sandwich High School, the town might consider re-purposing the historic Clark-Haddad building as a branch of the fanciful "Walter White Institute".
Whether or not pot smoking was a factor in Sandwich "High" School's outstanding academics, My Eminence hopes the kids will share some of their ganja with that wretched teachers' union before those idiots un-do everything good about the school district.
If nothing else, the new image of a pot-smokin' student body at SHS should help promote the institution as a school choice destination. Holy Father suggests a few marketing slogans:
· At Monomoy, they give you a netbook - or you can come find a whole new "high" in Sandwich
· Wild Summer Knights at Sandwich High
· Get High on Learning in Sandwich
· Sandwich Knights are Smokin' Hot
· Expand your mind at Sandwich High
...and the best one, which can be set to music
· Wasted days and wasted Knights
My Eminence will be delighted to do the invocation at the SHS Class of 2012 graduation if the rumors are true that Cheech and Chong will be the commencement speakers.
Anyone have more suggestions? If any creative artist decides to make a YouTube video of a "Wasted Knights" jingle, please send a link to editor@capecodtoday.com
Blessings to all,
Your devoted Cardinal Borgia.
Please see the archives menu on the right for access to older articles in this column.
About
An op-ed is a piece of writing, expressing an opinion. The name originated from the tradition of newspapers placing each columns on the page opposite to the editorial page. Thus the term "op-ed" is simply a combination of "opposite" and "editorial."
►Walter Brooks, Editor & Publisher
►Maggie Kulbokas, Managing Editor
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