What NOT to do on a Cruise

Avoiding the worse pitfalls of sea travel

By Walter & Patricia Brooks

We have taken fifteen cruises in the past four years, from a Burmese riverboat on the Mekong River and a tramp steamer in the Marquesas Islands to a Russian Ice-breaker on the Amazon and the newest mega-cruise ship to the Caribbean, and we've discovered many ways to save costs and still have fun while aboard.

Below are a few simple rules we offer to anyone planning to take a cruise this winter.

CRUISE COSTS:

There are as many different rates for the same cruise as there are salespeople to ask. Start with the cruise line site, then start to shop around. On a recent Caribbean cruise we were quoted $1,200 by the cruise lines, but ended up paying $995 or $81.81 a day for an 11 day cruise from NYC to the Southern Caribbean and back. At that rate we could have stayed aboard for a full year for  $29,860.

Places we always check include;

• CruiseComplete
• CruiseBrothers
• VacationsToGo

GETTING TO THE SHIP:

 Unless the cruise offer includes air fare, you could end up paying more to fly to the ship than for the entire cruise. Check whichever airline you normally use to add to your air miles, but also check the competition.

On a cruise last month which departed from Istanbul, we routinely checked Delta which was over $2,000 each. But we also checked Delta's partners which included Air France which charged $1,000 for the same two-leg flight from Boston, and best of all, we got a wonderful dinner on the foreign carrier.

Best of all, check to see if there are cruises which you can comfortably drive to within 300-500 miles. There are cruises to Bermuda from Boston in the summer, and a couple currently out of New York City.

Last year we drove to Montreal and spent a wonderful week cruising to the ÃŽles de la Madeleine (on right) in the Atlantic off Gaspé Peninsula and Newfoundland for $750 each and no air port hassles. 

DINING ABOARD:

1. Make your dinner seating reservation as early as possible, and we mean while at home before you leave when you make the purchase. Many ships have two seatings, typically 6 and 8 for dinner, and open seating for lunch and breakfast. The early seating is filled fast, and this means you won't finish dining at the second seating until 9:30 which is fine if you also don't mind going to the onboard entertainment at 10pm and getting to bed around 11:30.
2. Ask for a table for two unless you don't mind getting stuck with the same, possibly boring, people for the next week or two. We've spoken to many travelers who look forward to this "Dining Roulette", but we've been stuck with flaming loudmouths and been forced to take option 3.
3. All except the smallest cruise ships offer a second, less formal dining option where you may not be waited upon, but where you get to pick your dinner mates. The food choices are same as in the formal dining room and often even offer additional options like a Taco Bar, and Asia Sidebar and a Sandwich Bar where you can build your own.

INTERNET ABOARD

Hopefully you have wi-fi on your laptop. Bring it along because it may save you a bundle. In our three cruises this year we had free wi-fi in two, UniWorld (on right) and Croatia. and exorbitant cost in the third, Holland America Lines.
Since one of my companies in an IT firm, eCape.com, we are well aware of the almost zero costs for installing wi-fi routers anywhere you have access whether it's broadband via cable or vis your phone company or via satellite.
On Holland America they charge $100 for 250 minutes which works out to 22 minutes a day on their typical 11 day cruise plus a $3.95 "activation" charge which is completely bogus since any wi-fi does its own "activation".
There is a reason for a charge to get online if you are using the ship's PCs, but to charge laptop owners for using their own equipment is gouging. Period.

Here is how bringing your laptop will pay off.

• You can write your emails offline and only use your charged minutes to download new messages and mail the ones you've already written and saved in your "sent" box.
• You can quikly browse for every site you want to see (local newspaper, WSJ, NYTimes, etc.) and they will still be on your desktop to read later after you have logged off.

Those poor suckers using the ship's PCs have to be online (and charged) while writing the emails. And you can always read your messages on your own laptop AFTER to log-off, whereas those using the ship's PCs can not.

• When you are in port, try searching for open wi-fi hot spots you can access from the ship, or tote your laptop in town to do so. Increasingly franchise food outlet offer free wi-fi, and these are spreading across the globe.

EXCURSIONS

1. Read the cruise brochure about Excursions very carefully noting the length and cost. Then contact the local chamber of commerce or tourism bureau in each port of call and ask their advice about onshore excursions. Describe the one on your brochure to them and ask if their membership offers others similar. We've discovered in every case we've checked that the local price is half what the cruise line charges.
2. If you forget to do the above before you leave home, wait until your ship docks and start walking toward the center of town.

This past week on a Holland America Lines cruise from NYC to the Southern Caribbean. We left Manhattan at 4pm on Sunday, and after three days at sea (the brochure say two) at 3pm on Tuesday we landed in Roadtown, Tortola, BVI. The ship's 2-hour Excursion around the island costs $59. As we walked down the dock toward town the first local Excursion truck driver was hawking the same trip for $30 a couple. Ten feet further along a second driver offered the same for $25 a couple. As we walked long further one of the drivers pulled alongside us and offered the trip for $12 a piece ($24 a couple).

We still demurred, mostly because we have been to Tortola a dozen times already, but a few blocks later my brilliant wife saw a similar empty bus parked nearby. She asked the driver, if there was a local commuter bus in town, and he replied that he was leaving shortly to bring Roadtown school children home when school broke at 2pm, and we were welcome to come along for free.

TIPPING

The riddle asked by Cape Cod waiters and waitresses goes,
   Question; What the difference between a canoe and a Canadian?
   Answer; A canoe tips.
We suggest our readers consider emulating the Canadians rather than the canoe when it comes to allowing your cruise to automatically add a daily gratuity, usually  $10 a day per person, to our bill.
On an 11 day cruise that cam to$220 in addition to the 15% automatically added to any drink order for the entire voyage.

ALCOHOL

Most cruise lines try to prevent you from bringing you own alcohol aboard. The way to get around that is to find a couple of plastic, mineral water bottles with vodka. Use a plastic, colored mouthwash bottle for darker hued spirits.
Stick the vodka-filled water bottles right in those side pockets on most back packs and walk aboard with it in plain view.

CRUISING MYTHS:

Another good source is this Heidi Allison article here  which debunks a dozen myths about cruising like;

• You have to fly to Miami or Ft. Lauderdale to get on a cruise ship. 
  
• People only take cruises when the weather turns cold.
• There’s nothing for men to do on a cruise.
• Kids are bored on a cruise (above righjt, our two grand kids have been on two cruises and had so much fun on board they often won't go on shore trips.
• Cruises are expensive.